Numerically Correct Bha∫kar

Its love in BIHAR September 10, 2011

I hate attending any marriage and especially those never ending wedding ceremonies where playing loud music, dancing endlessly and drinking as much as you can are as indispensable to the marriage as the bride and groom itself.
I truly believe that the marriage ceremony should be as simple as like clicking on ‘I Agree’ button on any webpage by bride and groom both and that’s it , no more exaggerated emotions and no more showing for your wealth to the society.
Somehow I managed to escape from most of my friends’ marriage but I couldn’t get ride of request from ‘Narayan’ my friend from Darbhanga, Bihar.
“You have to come else even I will not go for my marriage “
“Really!!!! “ I quizzed
“yes….”He replied
“But I will send my Sword to marry your Bhabhi.” He added
“Your Sword ?” I quizzed again
“Haan….Thakuron me Chalta hain Yaar….But your Bhabhi will look very stupid while exchanging Wedding Garlands with a sword and posing with my sword on the stage as married couple” He concluded.
I laughed. “No, I will not make the situation that much funny , I will come “I replied.

I informed Narayan that I will join the Baarat directly. I reached a little late and by that time all the Baaraties were in full groove. It was the time for every young boys and girls, every uncle and aunties from early forties to late eighties to showcase their dancing skills. One of the Uncle took the responsibility that every one have to dance. He was dragging all other Uncles and Aunties to dance. First every one showed a little resistance and they started competing with each other. The Uncle was forcibly pulling some of the aunties too and they too started dancing. I must say Uncle would be very popular during his college days. When he almost pulled every lady and few male members to dance, he looked around and came to me
“You are Narayan’s friend no ? “
“Yes”
“ So ,Dance “
“Narayan’s friend !!! So Dance ? Is this like some compulsory friendship test ” I thought
“Uncle, I don’t know how to dance “
“It’s very easy, just follow me “and Uncle started dancing again.
I looked at his dance moves. Looks like some Plane is taking off and then landing abruptly. His high jump continued and he forgot about me and I sighed a relief,
“Now Sheila song “One of the girl yelled.
“Yes…”All the Aunties supported in Unison.
Band reciprocated and I saw another amazingly choreograph act from all the aunties .It was mix of acts from Shakira, Katrina and Malaika arora khan but with their broken legs.
As I had enough of laughter and Narayan was also involved with his relatives, so once Baarat entered the inside Marriage hall, I came out of the hall. The marriage area was quite big and I settled on one Bench near by where all Cars were parked.
“Away from crowd, loud sound and those Dirty Dancing steps, this place seemed like Divine.”
I was very tired so I looked at sky and closed my eyes and tried to relax a bit .After sometime when I opened my eyes, the chaos was little less. Every one went inside. I look around and no one was there. Suddenly I saw one girl standing against one of the Car parked there alone. The place looked a little smoky from my eyes.
“Is she smoking? Is something catching fire? Is she the bride itself? Is she trying to escape from marriage? Will Narayan be lucky enough? “I have watched lot of Hindi movies so such thoughts are but obvious.
I couldn’t resist my temptation to see, what exactly was going there.
I took my mobile near my ears, pretending to be on conversation with someone and went near the car. Bad News for “Narayan”, she was not her wife and Good news for me “She was beautiful and not looked married”.
It was not that I never saw women smoking but seeing a Girl smoking in her ethnic wear was quite a treat. Also for last ten years, I am living outside Bihar for most of the times, so I still had the same image of Girls from Bihar which I had 10 years back. I roamed around 2-3 times just to confirm that what I was seeing was real.
She saw me, ignored and continued her smoking. When ,I again moved in front of her. She asked
“Do you need matchbox?”
I heard and pretended to pause my conversation, raised eyebrow
“What?”
“Do you need Matchbox?” She asked again
“No”
“Cigarette?”
“No”
“Then why are you roaming around me for last five minutes. There are other girls more beautiful than me inside the marriage hall” She asked
I was really not expecting such rude response from her.
“Mind your words. I am talking with someone and network is coming in this area only “I tried to save myself.
“You must be using some superficial network, because no network is coming here” She looked at her mobile. .
I looked at my mobile. “Emergency written on my mobile was smiling on me”.
“My mobile’s network is working here “I replied and walked as fast as I can from that place.
“The World is like a Playground and we all are the fielders, one needs to do be attentive enough while fielding and this is the beauty of the game, you misfield few and you catch fewer.”
No need to tell that I misfielded few minutes back.
I was feeling very hungry, so I went inside the marriage hall. Photo session was going on the stage. Every one was congratulating the couples and sharing one Kodak moment with them. Narayan and his wife were reluctantly but continuously smiling for each photograph. While one of the leg pieces of Chicken was inside my mouth, I analyzed few things. Irrespective of in which part of India, the marriage is happening, older generation has a very unique habit of posing with the newly married couple by standing in between them and putting their hand on the heads of couples, pretending to give them blessing as if by putting their hand they are completing some electrical circuit and sooner the blessing will start flowing from them to the couples. You will always find lot of such photos in any marriage album.
Another very normal photo any one will find in marriage album of younger brother or sisters of the couple sitting on the handle of chair in between the couples to give “WE ARE FAMILY” moment. I still don’t understand why can’t they stand one side of couple, or may be stand behind them
If these moments were not enough every married couple started putting their babies in Bride or groom’s lap for another photosession.
“They Say Marriage is an Institution. But looking at these marriage ceremonies , it seems even admission to these institution is very tedious”.
Any ways, my eyes were looking for Ice cream suddenly one of the aunties yelled “Vidhya, Come beta, have one photo with your didi & Jeeju “ and later she dragged some one to stage . The dragged girl was no other than the Sutta girl .
She came, she stood along the Bride for photo shoot but Photographers too, these days never missed a chance of fielding.
He clicked the photograph and then said;
“Now you go to Jijaajee’s side for one photograph.” She reciprocated.
“Now come in between “The photographer cum director announced and She sat on the handle of the chair’s with the couples.
“Take few mores photographs. Apne ghar walon ko nahi dikhayega apni pasand “ I came and said to the photographer.
He heard, grinned and reciprocated.
“Bhaiya, She gave me smile , when she saw me taking her photograph” The photographer said to me.
“Bas , baat ban gyi teri , Shaadi ki date bata diyo aaunga teri shaadi me “ I said to him and walked away.
After finishing my food, I looked at Narayan once; he was looking very happy and signaling each and everyone to come to join them in the stage for a photograph. Before he could ask me to come, I wanted to go outside but Narayan saw me and signaled me to come to stage.
“No, I won’t “I signaled but then I went to stage.
“What is this Narayan? You know I don’t like all this “
“Only one photograph. I will show every one on Facebook that atlast you come to my marriage.”
I stood along Narayan and photographer took one photograph.
“Bhaiya, ab Bhabhi ke side aa ek photo” Photographer said to me and grinned. I guess, he took my comment about that Sutta Girl for him a little personally and trying to be extra friendly with me.
“No , its ok.”
Now I looked around, People were dancing on the dance floor and drinks were served to few in the corner of hall.
“Few years back these things were not in Bihar. The drinking might have happening but in close rooms only. There was no culture of DJs and dance floors. But serials, movies and inspiration from Punjabi Shaadis have prompted them to have marriage as lavish as it can be . They understood another word “Enjoyment” and on the name of “Enjoyment” they do all these which were termed unnecessary few years back but now it is a measurement scale of your social status. Bihar has changed. Atleast the way people think about marriages now.” I thought
I went outside and found that Sutta girl sitting on the bench alone. My first feeling said me to go inside but then I then the legendary line appeared in my mind“One can’t left field due to one misfielding”.
I came and sat near her on the bench. She didn’t expect it but ignored.
“Any problem, Why are you sitting alone” I asked, I wanted to break the ice anyway.
She ignored again.
“Your friend will be fine with Narayan. No need to worry about “I added. She did not respond.
I waited for few minutes and after no response from her side, I stood to go and at the same time she might realized that I won’t go inside. So she also stood to go.
She stopped, looked at me and asked
“Why are you following me?”
“I am not following you, it’s just the coincidence that I was getting bored inside so I came outside and both the time I found you alone here” I tried to clear my stand
“So you too don’t like this “shor sharaba”?’ She asked. Still standing.
“No, Not at all. I am always against of any kind of PDW, I mean Public display of wealth. I still like South Indian marriage, little subtle compared to all this.“ I said and sat on the bench again.
“Are you a south Indian?” She asked
“No. Do I look like South Indian?” I asked
“No. Just a thought. As you are advocating South Indian marriages.” She explained and sat.
“Good!!! Conversation with a beautiful girl sitting next to you all alone is any day better than going inside and part of the madness” I thought.
“I live in Gangtok. Where are you from?” I asked
“I am from Darbhanga only” She replied
I drilled down all my experience of the state from which I belong.
“Let me guess, you must be either in Bank or in a teaching line or a doctor or may be preparing for the same” I asked.
Parents in Bihar still prefer their daughter as Teacher or Doctor or some times Bank PO.
“Yes. I am intern in DMCH” She said
“But how do you know “She asked
“The world is very small place compared to my wisdom “ I replied back , adjusting my collar a little higher in symbol of my intelligence.
She didn’t notice that. We kept quite for some time but I again broke the silence.
“Then, how come a Doctor was smoking?” I asked. She listened and smiled
“So you think that any Sports federation should be governed by sportsperson only .Not those bulky Politicians, who can’t even kick a football “ She asked
“No..Not at all . Playing Sports and managing Sports federation is two different things. And most importantly every one has equal rights to invade government ‘s money and use it for themselves” I sounded more like Civil Society member and she smiled again.
“Same is true for us, Treating some one is our profession but we have our personnel life too. Why Society always expect Teachers or Doctors to set an example for the society.” She said
“I am not interested in your conversation regarding what Society things and what politicians should do. I will better go inside and see how uncles are reacting after gulping 3-4 pegs.” I said and we laughed.
Suddenly some one came running toward me with something in his hand to hit me. “Bhabhi hain teri “ .It was the photographer but before he could hit me , due to high consumption of Alcohol , he lost his balance and collapsed on the ground
First I didn’t realize , why he came to hit me but then when I probed further, I got the reason.The photographer was still babbling , I went toward him and helped him to stand and took him inside.
“She was asking about you only“ I said to him
“Really !!!“The Photographer asked me , still not in his senses.
“Yes “I said, with as much sincerity as I can pretend
“Shaadi me aaiyega jaroor bhaiya “ He said .
“Ok…You sit inside . I will talk to her about you “I said and went outside.
“Bhaiyajee ..maafi ..Ab meri Love Story aapke haath me hain “ He yelled from inside and I stood my hand toward him and came back.
Sutta Girl was still waiting their.
“What happened? “ She asked
“Nothing …That Guy wants to marry you “I replied
She looked at me amused.
“You can’t give me this look . This look is reserved for Mayawati, which she would use once she would meet Julian Assange of Wikileaks.” I said . She fumed again
“It’s not his fault either. One you are beautiful and another you passed smile on him . Any one can hit other’s for you” I added
“But , I never smiled “ She said
“On stage. During photo session “ I tried to remind her.
“It was just a smile for the photo and not definitely I was passing smile on him “ She argued
“I have left this place ten years back but still the mentality of people living here has not changed. Most of the Guys think some girl has a crush on them just because some point of time , the girl might have looked at them and smiled “ I said
“Why you are talking like this, as if you are alien to this place. Don’t you belong to this place too ?“ She asked
“Yes..I do and that’s why I know that when it comes to Love , people are still very naïve in this part of Country especially Guys.They don’t know how to deal with it“
This might made sense to her too and she kept quite. I tried to make the atmosphere a little lighter. I replied.
“Look at me, How naïve I am. You are beautiful, in fact very beautiful ,for the last one hour we are talking but I didn’t ask your name and not even your phone number“
“Oho..so You are naïve “ She imitated me .
“First you are following me since evening. Now you need my number? Really we are very naïve “ She said sarcastically
“Again you are getting me wrong. I am asking your number just because you are a Doctor and one should have doctor’s contact number in our mobile, in case of emergency and I can’t save a Doctor’s name like Sutta Girl “ I replied.
I knew any one could sense my intensions but a good fielder has to dive some time during fielding. One can get catch some time and some time get our self injured. But Moral of the story “One should keep fielding”.
“ok…I will give you my uncle’s number. He is a doctor too “
“I mean Beautiful Lady Doctors only “ I specified and she giggled a lot this time.
“Ok, its 90…”
She was about the complete the world before some one screamed from inside.
“Where is Vidhya? She has the keys of bride’s room “
“I have to go..” She said and ran toward marriage hall.
I sat there , looking at her running .She stopped , came back to me .
“9020…. “ I could not heard the whole word
“What…. 9022…?
She ran back to the marriage hall. She went inside and again come to the entrance of marriage hall “Reception date “ and ran again.
I cursed the lady who called her.
“902 was confirmed” I thought. I sat there for some time and went inside.
My eyes were looking for her. Marriage was going on. She came 2-3 times but was busy in all these customs in marriage.
I hate all those customs.
After 2-3 hours. Marriage completed and it was time of Bidaai.
Again over exaggerated acting from Bride’s mother and father started.
And I derived the frequency of the crying sound is proportational to how much you love your loved one. ( I might get Nobel Prize for this )
When Bride’s mother proved to the whole world that she loves her daughter most in the world , she stopped crying and we were about to left.
I was again looking for Vidhya. I saw her. Mr Photographer was standing near her and clicking her photographs . I went to the Photograpther and hugged him.
“Good choice brother .Perfect hain tere liye ..Are you coming on Reception?” I asked loud enough that Vidhya could hear it.
“Nahi bhaiya, hum nahi aayenge, Gaun jaa rahe hain. Photo bhi to dikhana hain “ The photographer replied shyly.
I looked at Vidhya . She nodded affirmatively.
“Good” and we all left.
Narayan’s wife who was crying as if she didn’t want to left her family, couldn’t stopped smiling till we reached Narayan’s house. Good for her that she understood it so early that although she left one family , she will become the part of another.
“When is the reception , Narayan ?” I asked
“Why ? “He asked
“Nothing. You all have this problem with me that I never attend any functions. So now today I will attend your Reception and in the late night I will leave.” I replied
“Good….But reception is not today..it is day after tomorrow “Narayan said
Now I couldn’t wait till that time as I had already exhausted all my balanced leave. Also there was no clear indication from Vidhya whether she liked me or not, that’s why it was too early to ask Narayan’s wife about her too.
So I left Narayan’s place and took the next train to my place. There was still some time for train to left the platform. I took my mobile and looked at all the pending tasks I saved on my mobile’s calendar.
“One presentation and credit card bill tomorrow “ I checked. I scrolled “Appointment with Doctor for Dental checkup “ on the next day.
This again diverted my attention towards Vidhya . I started thinking about her.
It will be the same day when Vidhya will come to Narayan’s place on Reception. She might expect me to me their too.
I scrolled calendar to next day suddenly some thing came into my mind.
Vidhya ran back to the gate of marriage hall and screamed “Reception date”
“What was so special about the Reception date “
I looked at the mobile screen and concluded .My heart beat was running faster than Satabdi Express .I dialed the reception date in DDMMYYYY form preceding 90. Mobile rang. Some girl picked the phone.
“Is this Vidhya?”
“Yes…who is this?” Vidhya replied
“It’s me. My Sutta Girl “ I replied.