Numerically Correct Bha∫kar

Jab se you left me!!! November 26, 2011

It is exactly the hundredth days since you ‘left’ me (Oh God!!! If the whole world is making hundred then Why Sachin is deprived of his hundredth hundred).
Although many people will argue that the word ‘left’ does not support what happened actually. They say either you ‘dumped’ me or you actually ‘got rid of‘me.
But these words hurt me more so just to appease my ego, let’s stick with the word ‘left’ only.
There was no rocket science to conclude that we were poles apart and I knew it since the very first day I saw you.
But then things changed,One day we became friends and after that when ever you smiled at me,I started feeling as if you were just perfect for me.
It was different ballgame altogether that even those days whenever I saw you talking and smiling with some one else I felt like hitting hard on that person’s face. But your one smile for me was enough for me to forget everything but you.
Those were the days when my world was revolving around you only. Your only call was enough for me to leave behind the whole world.

And if i go into details , then i can safely say that it was not me
who started conversation, infact it was you who broke the ice first. Although for you it might be just start of a friendship but for me, it was my charm which did the trick . I always thought that you couldn’t really resist ignoring my charm and started flirting with me.
I still remember, it was you who offered to take a stroll together. For you it was again just a mere walk but I used the word ‘Walking date’ for our walk, which no other dictionaries support till date.
I still believe that I would not have fallen in love with you unless we reached Ice-cream parlor that day. I would have never known that a ice cream flavor named ‘Green Chilly’ exists in the world unless you forced me to buy one ‘Kesar pista’ and one ‘Green Chilly’ flavor ice cream candy.
I was very reluctant to have an ice cream in that chilling evening of January and Ice cream Candy was complete no no for me but once you forced me and told me that ‘Green Chilly’ was your favorite flavor, I forgot everything in the world except that ice candy and when you took a byte of ‘Green Chilly’ from mine, I knew it was Love.

And When exactly at 12 in one midnight, you called me and started singing Birthday jingle just to wish me, my joy had no boundaries. I forgot that It was me who lied with you about my birthday and told you the coming Saturday as my birthday, just to spend a full day with you. And when you planned a birthday treat for me the very next day, I was convinced that I want to spend rest of my life with you.

From that day onwards whenever I close my eyes, I see you and whenever I open my eyes, I want to see you.
Am I sounding more like SRK? Ok!!! , then I am recalling my statement.
Since the time you left me, every time I close my eye. I feel sleepy only and whenever I open my eyes, I want to go for sleep again. Yes, that’s true. You never invaded my sleep and in fact you never came in my dreams too.
I thought it would be very difficult for me to come out of the trauma. But exactly the same day when you left me, Jeetu asked me whether I was interested to accompany them in watching a movie and actually I wanted to go. But I replied negatively because I didn’t want to eradicate the feeling I was experiencing at that moment. Even I ignored food that day just because I didn’t want to feel any tummy problem when actually I wanted to feel the pain with whom you left me.
I tuned my TV for few sad songs but Kareena’s Chamak challo act stopped my movement on the remote too.
Atlast I went to bed, I knew you would be reason of my insomniac and I won’t be able to sleep. But as soon as I went to my bed, I slept and I slept for two hour more than average. You didn’t come in my dreams either.
I bunked my office for few days too, just to console myself that I was not in the state of dealing with codes, when some Girl had already taken the control of my mind.
I started growing my beard too , just to get a feel of lonely looser lover look but neither anyone noticed my absence in my workplace and nor my beard started growing at faster rate to get any attention.
Atlast I went to my office too. I deleted all your mails and photographs, only to realize it was achieved somewhere else in my laptop too.
I wanted to destroy all your cards and gifts only to realize that those Gifts were too expensive to crush.
I had seen many people either took a stiff high or drastic low in career after their breakup. I tried for the later but didn’t succeed so I attempted the former too. I engrossed myself, only to realize in next 4 hour that I was good for nothing, when Client summoned me and slammed me for all my in-competencies.
I took a break for self realization. Nothing was supporting my feeling; in fact last meeting with client had proved that my rage was not strong enough to make me the next bill gates. I would remain in the group of average people.
When nothing worked for me , I tried to act like ‘Sanjay Dutt’ of ‘Saajan’ movie and tried to be happy for your happiness but that didn’t work either , every time I saw your fiance , I feel like hitting hard on his face . I always try to find some fault in him and believe me I found many. Even I compared myself with him many a times and what so ever was the result of the comparison, the fact was he just won heart of a normal girl like you, not of ‘Genelia D’souza’ in any case.
I even discovered few irritating things about you too. The world might say it’s my frustration, what ever it is !!! But the thing is, how I ignored your annoying behavior before.
Irrespective of all these failure in expressing my pain as a normal heartbroken guy, about one thing I was sure that I will never fall in love again. But then again why Aakriti is looking more beautiful to me these days and why ‘Kuch kuch hota hain’ every time she smiles.
Why I am ready for a ‘Walking date’ with her, which we used to do regularly.

They say ‘I don’t know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too’
But then why didn’t I felt the same? I never felt pain in any part of my body , except my waist , Doctors are saying that is too due to long sitting hours on computer not due to any heart break. I never became insomniac, I never became workaholic, I never started drinking, I never hit some one, I never drove my car with speed greater than 100kmph, I never lost interest in foods. I never reacted on some thing unexpectedly. But then If it was not love then why your number is still in my mobile, why I keep a check on your profile updates and why I don’t like any thing about your fiance .

I don’t know how cheesy it may sound but the fact is no matter how much I find you annoying these days but still every time I see you , I feel like i am missing something. I still like your smile , no matter how forced it may look and about your fiancé , I STILL HATE HIM
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It’s my version Dhanush’s latest song. The ‘soup song’ , the ‘flop song‘ ‘why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di’.