Weak Moment

And the moment had come back again. I was just a press away from that. I took a deep breath and thought again. I repeated everything and calculated all pros and cons for this act and then I pressed. And the moment I pressed, I developed a cold feet, my heartbeat went for a toss. It felt like, it was about the stop. I looked around, reassess the consequences, a drop of sweat trickled from my forehead.
“I shouldn’t do that. I can’t do that “I decided.
I put a brake on my act. I kept pressing and started erasing everything simultaneously until everything was wiped out, even from my memory. Once everything was clear, I released myself. My weak moment was over.

Everyone has their shares of weak moment in their life, when the acts are not controlled by mind or heart but by the instinct. The regrets for those act doesn’t heal easily .I too had lots of weak moments in my life about which I rue even today. What if, I would have controlled myself for those few minutes, the situations and life afterwards would be less embarrassing. The harder I try to conquer these moments, the more aggressively they attack on me. Even I feel that recently the frequency of occurrence of these weak moments has increased a bit. I guess, reason for increase in frequency of occurrence is using Facebook a bit more.

Facebook is a wonderful place to be in. They say that they use it, to check how are their old pals doing in life and make new friends. But for me it’s a bit different. I care a damn about what’s happening in my friend’s life and most importantly the videos and pictures they share. I have very less interest or in fact no interest in making new friends, But still I use Facebook. The reason for my Facebook usage is specifically to keep an eye on my exes. My definition of exes are different  and they have different classifications too. It includes my crush to whom I never said anything. My first love to whom I never expressed my real feelings, my second love to whom I shared everything but she didn’t understood anything, my third love to whom I shared everything but she pretended not to understood anything, my fourth love, to whom I shared everything and she understood everything and then there was a kick on my butt or as an exception case to whom I was the love of her life but I didn’t had the courage to reciprocate.
Okay, fine, the last classification does not hold true for me but still I mentioned it as it gives a feel good feeling to me.
So, now coming to my exes, they all have something common, other than I am not in touch with anyone and that is their penchant for Check-in in Facebook. They check-in every time. They check-in, when they visit malls. They check-in, when they visit good restaurants. They check-in, when they watch movies. They check-in, when they watch live concerts or matches and off course they check-in, when they fly to foreign locations. In other words, they don’t need GPS, Facebook works for them. I believe, soon there will be an upgrade in OLA or UBER, which will send an automated notifications to these FB profiles regarding availability of their Cab in the area they checked-in.
“Maa’m/Sir, We found that you checked-in in Opium restaurant. From your live reporting of event through pictures posted in the timelines, looks like you have a great time. If the Boozing , put you on high and difficult to walk straight ,Our cab driver is waiting for you outside the restaurant and will drive you to your destination “

That was one of such Saturday, when I had to come out of my blanket due to some really unavoidable circumstances. Some guest had come to my house and I couldn’t pretend to smile and engage in conversation with them. I excused myself from their unending revolutionary discussions and came out of my home. I had nothing to do, so I went to nearby mall. I hate malls. I don’t like people sitting or standing in the middle of the mall, without any specific reason. I don’t like the happy faces in the malls, as if it’s a mark of achievement. I don’t like the mentality developed in Indian middle class, where visiting malls on weekend is as mandatory as watching Rangoli on Sunday, when we were kids.
But I choose mall because it was still first half of the Saturday and malls are less crowded in the earlier hour as most people prefer to sleep late (Another form of Weekend fun) after a rocking Friday night. Well, I didn’t know how my guest curbed their weekend fun and came so early to my house. I took a corner area in the mall far away from some couples, who were sitting together, holding each other’s hand, giggling and head resting on other’s shoulders, as if they are the Kajol and Shahrukh Khan of this generation.
“What to do?” I thought, those cozy couples were annoying me.
I took my mobile. I had nothing to do in the mobile too. My fingers went on some familiar app. It was Facebook. As expected, my irritation subside and a witty smile came to my face. I got occupied in my Job, to check my exes. I love this Job. If they become fat, my smile get wider. If they become more pretty, I envy it. If they post their pictures with their spouse, I scrutinize their spouse and try to find anything negative out of a perfect loving couple.
That day, I was also doing the same. There was some random old picture shared by one of such exes, here I won’t divulge whether she came in the category of fourth love or not. After that everything went as expected. She was looking pretty, as usual. I stopped scrolling on the screen, as usual. I started staring her picture, as usual. These are the times, when Weak moments attack you. You want to tie the broken string, once again. You want a connection with her once again.
The Weak moment took the control over me. I opened the messenger and wrote something for her. Most of the time, my direct messages were cheesy but that day it was not. It was a simple and short message enquiring her where about. I wrote, I repeated everything which I wrote. I thought again, I calculated all scenarios and I pressed. But before releasing the finger from send option, cold feet developed, my heartbeat went for a toss. It felt like, it was about the stop. I looked around, reassess the consequences, a drop of sweat trickled from my forehead.
“I shouldn’t do that. I can’t do that “I decided.
And I deleted everything from other hand. Once I was sure that I have deleted everything from the conversation window and no notification would be sent to her, I released my finger. My weak moment was over. I closed the app and came out in the senses.

But I had nothing to do, I was sure that my guest would not go before a heavy lunch and may be after evening snacks. I looked around. People had started coming. I started seeing the faces beaming with some sort of achievement after entering into malls. I tolerated till my endurance level. Atlast I again opened the Facebook and there was surprise waiting for me.
The Same ex, to whom I was about to send message few minutes back had checked-in in a Coffee house and that too in the same city and in the same mall , where I was currently. Now even if I won’t disclose whether she belonged to the category of fourth love or not, it was completely normal that I had an urge to see her once, obviously from a distance.
Now the coffee house was elite one on its own and to check-in in that coffee house in Facebook was like feeling foreign and upper class for my attention seeker ex.

I looked at myself. A loose, unwashed, faded jeans, a wrinkled t-shirt, a pair of sleepers and messy uncombed dry hair. I put my hand inside the pocket, few notes of hundred rupees folded multiple times came out of it. That was not enough to enter the coffee shop. Luckily my wallet had my debit card. Although it was around the end of month but still I thought that the card would definitely pay for a cup of coffee.
I entered inside and the security person gave me a dirty look. I smiled and went inside. I had to be extra alert over there. I had to look for my so called ex and also I had to make sure that she didn’t recognize me , which I believe was not difficult by looking at my hair style and attire. I looked around cautiously and my heart sank. I found her. She was sitting alone in the center part of the shop. I looked around and found a table, which was few meters away from her table. From where I could see her easily but she had to look a bit left to see me . I sat, my heartbeat was a bit fast. I lowered my face and positioned the menu card lying on the table to hide my face. Then I looked at her furtively. She had put some weight but still …, she had changed her dressing sense but still…she had changed her hair style but still….but still her eyes had not changed ..but still her facial expressions had not changed..but still she looked appealing. I looked around, if she had come with some one? From Facebook I got to know that she got married few years back.
“Where is her husband?” A thought came inside me
“She looks a bit sad, definitely she has left her husband “A sadistic pleasure creeped in my mind.
“One Wrong decision and regret for the life” I was referring about ignoring myself over her husband
My thought process ended abruptly as someone came between my sight and her face. It was waiter. She gave some orders and I knew what that was. The waiter wrote it in the paper and came towards me, I sanked a bit more in my chair.
“Your order Sir ? “ He asked
“Caffe mocha “ I replied , I knew ,this was the order from other table too, after all I had spent few years with her.

But to boost my ego , I asked the waiter.
“So, same order twice , easier for you ..right ?” I said
“Sorry Sir “ The waiter replied
“Everyone is ordering Caffe mocha today “ I said
He just smiled. Still to get confirmation , I engaged him in some talk about the Coffee house , just to see his sheet , where he wrote the orders for her.
“Espresso Macchiato” I read
I made a bitter face . Waiter left and she was again in my sight.
“So what , she must have ordered it for a change “ I consoled myself.
“Or People changes “I realized
Then she started looking at her mobile and I noticed her nail paint. She always liked different nail paint designs. I smiled.
“Some habits are hard to go “
Then I looked at her mobile .
“I Phone”
It reminded me of my first interaction with her, a cheesy one.

I was noticing her for few days and couldn’t get the courage to talk to her. That day, she was sitting alone. I looked around, no one was near her and I was sure that I could ran like Milkha Singh in case someone tries to beat me and agile enough to save my self , in case someone tries to slap me.

“Hey, you use iphone right ?” I asked
She gave a puzzled look. I took my iphone look alike local Chinese phone from my pocket.
“Your’s is iphone, can you fix my phone ?” I said
“Yaa, Sure, what is the problem? “ She replied , If you have an iphone , suddenly you become decent enough person for a girl to start conversation.
I came a bit closer to her.
“It doesn’t have your number in it “ I replied and grinned
I was nearer, so she noticed that mine was a Chinese model and after my response. I was ready to cover myself, incase she would hit me with something.
But she smiled.

“Sir, Your Coffee” The Waiter ended my past heroic introduction scene. This scene had diverted my attention from her. I again looked at her and saw she wore sunglasses.
“Sunglasses, inside coffee house. People get mad and she was mad earlier too. “I thought
“That’s why she ignored my feeling and chose some random X, Y or Z” I said slyly to myself.
“But still she looked pretty” I added. The Week moment was about to come.
To make it more difficult for me , the shop played the song “Man Aamadeh Am “ from Coke Studio .It killed me , I lost myself.
Coke studio was one of our favorite show and we used to listen to their songs by sharing different sides of my untidy, tangled and messy earphone.
I didn’t realize that she was looking for something and in process of this, she looked around me and stopped.
“Shit, she saw me “ I thought.
Her eyes were staring at me.
“Is She trying to recognize me ?”
“How come, someone forget this charming person ?“ I know, I have lot of misconception about myself.
I have to smile. I raised my hand and smiled and she turned in different direction.
She was looking at different direction and her sunglasses had gave me the illusion that she was looking at me.
But that few second of virtual eye contact and then back ground song had done the trick.
Atif was still singing.

Dil sambhal to jaayega
Par sambhle naheen
Tum hi koyi rasta dikhao na
Bas yahi main chaahun koyi baat karo
Hai suna man tujh bin aao na

And the week moment arrived.
“What’s wrong, if I talk to her once ?”
“What’s wrong , if I get to know, how is she ?”

“After all, she was one time love of my live ”

I decided . I looked at my face in the camera, it was not looking good.
“Let me come from wash room “ I decided ,my heart beat was running like Uber surge price.
I went inside washroom and quickly tried to clean my face with water, set my hair a bit. Then I looked at my t-shirt and jeans and tried to adjust it properly. I came out.
Atif was still singing

Khaahishon mein raho
Dhalte raho
Jaago to raat yeh kahe
Aa bhi ja baanhon mein

I looked towards her chair. She was not there. My heartbeat stopped. I looked around. She was at exit. She was leaving. I yelled but she was on the other side of glass now, so might have not heard me. I quickly ran toward the exit but stopped by the same security guard.
“Sir, Have you paid the bill “
“2 minutes, I am coming “ I replied
He looked at me from top to bottom and said
“Sir, please pay the bill first “
I came inside and asked for the bill at counter.
“How much is that?”
“Sir, please take your seat, we are giving you the bill “Lady at the counter replied
“See, it’s very urgent , I need to talk to the lady, who just left .” I pleaded.
“Take all my cashes and my debit card , I am coming in 5 minutes” I added
Needless to say that the cash amount was enough only for the service tax in the shop.
“Ok” The lady replied , but before she could say anything , the same waiter came .
“Sir, I was looking for you . There is a message from that madam for you “ He said
“What ?”
“When you were in the wash room. She gave it to me and told me to give it to you and after that she left “ The waiter clarified.
He gave me the paper. I sat back.
“Hey, You still look the same. Thought of talking to you. But sometimes it’s better not to touch the somehow settled sand castles. ….tc….” I read the paper.

Atif was still singing

Rokna chaahoon thaamna chaahoon
Ret kisi ke haath naa aaye
Rang bhar doon
Yaa rehne hi doon
Kaise hue mere apne paraaye

“Looks like , she overcomed her weak moment” I thought and later left from the coffee house.


and it happened once again ….

“I have lost it, it’s not in me anymore” I repeated to myself

The outcome of last few days had injected this thought in my mind. I was trying hard but nothing significant was coming out of it. I rolled my palms over my face and looked around for water, a deserted bottle was lying beside my laptop. I took the bottle and opened the cap and put it in my mouth to get what so ever water left in it. There was nothing, I mean, except exact 2 drops. This irked me further. I got up, squeezed the bottle like a lemon and threw it with all muscular power of my body. This didn’t ended here, I closed the laptop and was about to bang it hard on the table but stopped due to sound of “Krsh”.
I looked for the source of the sound .It was sound of glass of a photo frame shattered to bits by the concussion of that squeezed bottle with the photo frame on the wall. I went to pick up the photo frame, it had the picture of ours.
Our picture had brought me back to the conversation between us from where it all got started. We were together, we were happy, we were CONTENT.

And then came the wish.

“Why are you not writing these days?” She asked casually
“I am not getting enough time “I replied
“Moreover, I don’t want to write those boy meets girl type of stories anymore “I added
“But why? They were not bad “She asked again
“Because, I am more mature now, can’t write those childish stories forever “I retorted
“Mature and you “She mocked slyly
There was something cheeky in her eyes, when she said that, as if she caught my bluff.
“Yes, I am mature, much more than you for sure “I snubbed
She was grinning and her laughter was outrageous enough for me to take my PAN Card from my Wallet.
“Yes, I am mature enough, look at my PAN card “
“Don’t show it to others, you are approaching retirement age now “Her laughter was unstoppable now.
By looking at her, this time, even I couldn’t control myself and grinned. It calmed me a bit too. She was correct, I was on the verge of that ideal age, by which we planned to get retired, when we joined this Industry.
“At least write something no!! “She said while fondling my hair.
“On me “She added
“I don’t want to write same types of stories again and again. Now, I can write these stories while sleeping too “I replied
“It’s like a same template which I follow in every story. I want to come out of it “I added
“Then write something else”
The fact was, I tried the same earlier and it was not working, but how could I accept the same in front of her.
“It does not work like this. Creativity needs space, personal time “I said
“Go on “She had expected the way conversion was heading towards. But what she didn’t know was that sometimes, I had surprised myself too with my impulsive and unpredictable nature.
“And since the time you have come in my life, I have lost that personal space. It’s always about us and never about me” And drops started rolling out of her eyes.
But I continued.
“Give me some free time and see, how I come out with something out of the box. But you can’t give it to me, because you need to plan movies, you need to plan shopping, you need to plan anything and everything but always with me” I concluded.
She was sobbing and there was a sense of satisfaction inside me, as if I have won the battle on this discussion once and forever.
After a good 10 minutes of sobbing session, she stood and my eyes followed her, still with the sense of achievement.
“Look, I told you to write, because you like it. I never told you to make a career out of it. You have told me that you feel good while writing and I want to see you happy. That all “She ranted and came out of room and I was like “Did I lose the discussion again?”
But she came back, within a second.
“And about your confidence on writing similar stories “She stopped.
I looked at her like an intimidated deer in front of lion, ok, here it was lioness.
“There is nothing wrong in honing your acquired skill then do nothing and just planning to do something new” She stormed
“Typical Indian mentality “I muttered
“Nothing” I grinned
No one likes these sarcastic responses and especially, when you are in bad mood. She didn’t stop here.
“Look, I am going from here, now I am giving you, your personal space” She announced
“Yes, now there is no “us” time and you could get your personal “ME” time “She added
“Hey, please don’t go. It was not meant like that. I just said it, in spur of moment” I tried to stop her by holding her hand.
“Let me Go, I seriously wanted to give you some free time” She replied calmly while pulling her hand.
“To think about everything, to think about your future, about our future, to think about were our relationship is going towards, “She added
“This is blackmailing. I won’t write due to that “I howled
“Whatever, you think of it “She was on the door now.
“If you go today, I will never write anything on you “I bowled my last armory.
“That, you are not going to write, anyway, because you can’t write anymore. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MOJO” She said and closed the door on my face.
And to prove the world, that the Mojo was still inside me. I took off from Office, opened all the windows in the house to get a fresh air and fresh ideas, played soulful songs, watched movies, switched off my phone, read articles but nothing worked. I was not able to write anything. I tried to read few books too but it didn’t excite me after few pages.

It was more than a week since she left me and I was still struggling to finalize a subject on which something can be written. I was scrolling the mobile contacts and delving about the idea of saying sorry to her and while thinking about the same, I slept, my another weakness.
The next day, when I woke up. I was clear that either I had lost my mojo or the storyteller in me has to follow the similar path again.
“This is not bad either, Imtiaz Ali, Anurag Kashyap, even Raj Kumar Hirani are repeating the similar way of storytelling in all their movies” I consoled myself.

And I started writing again ……


Few months back there was an article on Buzzfeed which was trending in social media for more than a week. A new terminology was used for a section of people called “The Urban Poor”. They are broke, hungry but always on trend. They spend a majority of their salary (whatever small it is compared to Government Sector these days) to keep up the lifestyle and appearances that they believe are essential to have. They will not eat throughout the day or two for some weekend plans , not because they are on diet but because they can’t afford a normal meal in a good restaurant and EMIs of car, bikes  and smart phones have broke them but still they have to pace their life like a Urban “Rich”. A similar sort of party was going on among “Urban Poor” on one weekend. Reluctantly I had to join that party due to one of my friend that day. There were lot of other friends and their friends too were also in the Party. Needless to say, I took a corner. The charms of these types of parties are that mostly single or even few couples get the chance to explorer other possibilities. Mostly you don’t know each other in these types of parties but still if you want to get some connections, you can get it and that is the USP of these type of parties for singles.
After few minutes, I came out of the Party area and waiting outside for my friend.  I saw a Girl coming out with a little disinterested look. To make it more personal, let’s call it   “My Type of Look”.  My prying eyes had followed her in the Party area too. A guy followed her, when she came out of the Party area and I was peeping them secretly.
“Ha, ha ,ha . That’s Great. .It was nice talking to you “The guy said
She smiled
“C, ya “ Our villain added and waved his hand to show his Casio watch. Girl smiled.
After 2 minutes, our villain took a sharp U turn on his Thunder Bird and came back.
“Are you coming in the next party ?” He asked
“Yes “ She nodded
“By the way, I didn’t ask for your name ?” He asked again
“Mine ?”
“Hmm…..it’s………Shikha” She replied and Myself and that Guy both noted it in their mind.
Once the villain was out of sight, the hero in me took the center stage. I looked around. There were few couples sitting around, few groups were involved in booze session but she was alone. I came near her.
“Why didn’t you tell him your actual name?” I asked
“What?” She looked at me weirdly.
“I am saying, why didn’t you tell your real name to that guy.” I repeated
“That’s my real name “She replied looking disinterested in the conversation.
“Then, there won’t be a long pause between it’s and Shikha “I smirked
And she smiled this time.
“No need to tell your real name to everyone.” She replied
“He was not interesting either “I replied
“And how did you came to this conclusion? “ She quizzed this time
“Because …. I can read faces “I answered
“O, really!!”
“Yes, And do you want me to tell you, what are you thinking right now? “ I added
“Yes, definitely”
“You want to have a conversation with me “I joked and she laughed. My score 1 and our villain’s score 0.
“Let’s go inside” I took another chance
And we talked for a while. She told me that she loved parties and they had a gang of friends in WhatsApp group named “Party Animals’.  The girl was interesting but till the time I didn’t get her name and mobile number, the meeting was not successful for me.
“That guy has searched all the social networking sites for Shikha till now “I said, in process of getting her name.
“Ha ,ha “ She smiled
“But, what’s your real name?” I asked again
“It’s ………………..Shikha…” She replied and laughed again
“See, we were around 30 people here, so basically, If we want to know about each other, that we can get with little effort” She added.
I failed this time, but I always had one last armory left.
“Ok. I need to leave now.” I said
She nodded.
“Let me book OLA’ I said
We came out, I checked the app. Mini was at 2 minutes distance, Micro was at 3 minutes distance and surprisingly Prime was at 8 minutes of distance and with Surge Price.
I ogled at her, to check if she was looking at my screen and booked a Prime. I got additional time to talk to her.
“Ola will be arriving in few minutes and you didn’t tell me your name yet “ I almost pleaded this time
 “We could meet in the next party anyway” She answered
“I rarely attend these parties” I replied sadly but still she didn’t say anything
“That is a weird habit in Girls, they never believes in Boolean.There is no either and or, yes or no situation for them, they always have a middle path in between both the two options.” I thought
“Shit “I said , while calling the Ola Driver
“What happen ?” She asked
“Low Balance, I am not able to make a call “ I replied with hesitation
“No problem, Take my phone “ She said
“Are You sure ?”
I took her phone and call the driver.
“What happened “ She asked once I returned her the phone.
“There is some problem is his car “ I said
“So, what will you do now? “ She asked
“I told him to take time, I can easily wait “ I grinned and she blushed. We talked till OLA had arrived and I left.
For people like our villain, that was end of story, atleast till the next party  but my story started from that place.
I went inside the Cab and Cab started.
“Can you please give me your mobile on which you received the call from me?” I asked


The next plan of action was on “True Caller “ .
After reaching home, I called on the number . It was late night.
“Hello” Someone a little dazed received the call from other side
“Hi, Shikha”
“Who is this ?” She questioned
“Party Animal for you “ I replied and she laughed
“So you got my number from your friend circle in the Party “She asked
“Is Ola driver your friend , Miss…….“ then I called her with her actual name
“And how did you get my name “ She quizzed again
“I have the Almighty TRUE CALLER” I replied
“Very Smart”
“But, I will call you Shikha only “I said
We continued conversation for few minutes, till I got to know another feature of my phone, that it gets disconnected after 180 minutes.
But that conversation ended in such a note that afer that day, we never went to the Party again .
We used that time to know each other better.


I was exhausted. I took my mobile again, looked at her picture and sent her a text.
“I tried, but “me” time is not possible anymore. Because there is no “I’ left without “U’, it’s “we” only. Let’s have some “us” time. Sorry Shikha!!”.



Arranged Love Marriage

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I was lying on the sofa slothfully just like a pig in the mud. Eyes were trying hard to remain open and oscillating between different stages of closure.Remote in left hand was held with minimum grip and keys were randomly pressed to surf TV channels. Right hand was placed across the neck to support the head against side arm of Couch.

“This is bliss, this is what I also wanted to do and this is what I always craved for. Live a life of unseen and unknown with no rule, with no such agenda for the day or week or month or even for a life”

But Luxuries are not meant to be permanent and that’s why God has created Friends, to get disturbed at odd times and I was no different. My phone rang and I ignored. It ranged again and I ignored again. It ranged again and I ignored again. But at last phone won . The person on the other end continued calling me and till my slackness lost. It ranged again and this time I just couldn’t ignore it. I stood fumingly like Lord Vishnu came out of his “Yog Nindra” and took the phone. Rakshas was calling.

Yes, ’Rakshas’ was name of my friend and i am using ‘Was’for him because at that moment,once he forced me to come out of my“Yog Nindra”, he ceased to remain my friend anymore. Rakshas was not the name given by his parents to him and he must had some other name but on fresher’s day when he ate 23 naans, unlimited leg pieces of chicken and 20 plus rasgullas, we started calling him Rakshas.
“What happened?” I asked directly. No need to be formal with Rakshas. There was a pause from other side.
“Hello “ I asked again.
“Beta, this is me, your uncle. Vyas’s Dad “Voice from the other side replied.
“Vyas !!!” I questioned
“Ok, So Rakshas’s real name is Vyas. Vyas and Rakshas ? What an irony!! A Guy, for whom writing something means writing the phone numbers and filthy shayaris in Train’s washroom had got the name Vyas from his Parents.” I thought
“Sorry Uncle. I couldn’t recognize your voice. How are you?”I asked
“Perfect Son. Called you to inform you that your friend’s marriage is fixed. “ Rakshas’s dad replied from other end. Just by hearing his voice, it was clear that he was beaming with Joy.
“With the same Girl, whose profile you sent to us” He added.
“Really?” I smiled
“Yes “
“That’s great Uncle. Where is Rakshas, I mean Vyas. Let me congrats him “I fixed my goof up.
“Yes, now talk to your friend “Rakshas’s dad handed over the phone to Rakshas.
“Hello “ Rakshas replied from other end
“So ?” I asked
“So , what ?” He asked
“So ,what happened , tell me “ I asked again
“Nothing. You know everything. Her father came few days back and today they all came to meet us. She is good and both families like each other. My family like her too, so I agreed “ Rakshas told everything in few lines.
“Okay, fine. I would be happier with more description. But anyways, give the phone to Aunty. Let me hear from her about her would be daughter-in-law’” I replied.
I talk to Rakshas’s mom for a while and dropped the call.
After few minutes, my phone rang again. I smiled this time.

Two months back from Today

I was in Ahmedabad for some office work and went to meet Rakshas, who lived with his parents in Ahmedabad. On dining table, his mother started the conversation.
“Beta, Tell your friend to get married. I don’t know, what is he thinking about, whether he really wanted to get married. All of his friends are already married but every time we saw her any girl’s profile, he came up with a new reason for rejection. I don’t know, from where can I get Katrina Kaif for him.” Aunty said in a single breath.

“Every Mother wants Katrina kaif for his son, even if his son is chris gayle” I thought

“What is he saying?” I asked lightly looking at Rakshas. As usual he was busy with his dinner.
“Nothing, he doesn’t like any profile and he has enough reasons for that” She replied with angst
“Have you asked? He might be in relationship with some girl” I quipped looking at Rakshas.
Rakshas gave me angry look this time.
“Is there any girl in your life?” I asked Rakshas
“Finish your meal first and pass me the chicken bowl “He replied
“No Doubt, there is so much starvation in India” I thought
“No Son. My Son is not like this. He will marry a Girl of my choice only. We like arrange marriage only. In any case there is no future of love marriages. Most of the unsuccessful marriages are love marriages. Every day we hear a new such story in our society.” Rakshas’s mom interrupted.
“Moreover Son, how can you all decide, what’s good for you and our family. You may decide for yourself but marriage is not about two individuals, it’s about alliance of two families and when it comes to family, Parents are the better judge.” This time Uncle argued.
“That’s fine Uncle. No one wants to get married without their families’ approval .Only Parents need to understand that happiness of their Son or daughter is more important than their family or the acceptance in the society.” I was arguing as if I was the only hope of Love birds whose curative petition is also rejected by Supreme Court.
“It’s an endless discussion,Son. Looks like you have found a girl for yourself “Aunty chuckled.

In reality there was no Girl in the radius of 5 KM , who ever passed on smile at me but I acted as if what Aunty was saying is true and I was always surrounded by Girls just like the Guy in the ad of AXE deodorant.
“Ok, Do what ever you want to do for yourself. But our suggestion is to go for Arranged marriage only , just like we are looking for a girl for your friend.” Uncle concluded the Parliament Session .
“Talk to him once and let us know what exactly he is looking in a Girl “Aunty added
“Okay Aunty. But right now he is looking for Chicken “ I replied by looking at Rakshas, whose eyes were set at the last leg piece of chicken left in the bowl.
Everyone laughed.
After talking to Rakshas for few hours alone, I went to meet Rakshas’s parent again before leaving.
“He is fine with your choice only Aunty” I replied
“Please contact your marriage bureau person and mention that what exactly you want in your daughter in law. They will help you out.” I added.
“That is already being done, Son. But somehow either we don’t like the profile or Vyas rejects it.I don’t know, what type of Girl your generation wants. In our generation, compromise was the key.We are still adjusting with partners of our parents’choice” Uncle gave a dirty look at Aunty and smiled.
Aunty gave him the anger look too but before their arguments to get started, i interrupted.
“And what about Online marriage sites?. You can get in touch with the profile, which you like” I asked
“That we don’t know. If you have some time, create a profile for Vyas and let us know, if someone contacts you”Uncle replied
“Okay Uncle” I concluded the meeting and left.

45 Days back from Today

“Yes Son, out of these profiles, I like the profile of 2-3 girls. Let me check with Vyas’s dad and then I will let you know, what to do next. “Aunty replied from phone.
After few days, Aunty called me again.
“Beta, call Mr Das. Her girl is very pretty and family looks good too. We liked her” She said
“Have you asked Rakshas, I mean your Son ?” I replied, again forgot the name of Rakshas
“Yes, he said that he has no problem with it. “ Aunty replied
“Great Aunty. I will call Mr Das ,to talk to Uncle and arrange meeting”

15 days back from Today

“He came today. Looks like a nice Gentleman. Family is good too. “Uncle answered from other end to me.
“Great. But why are you sounding so low?” I asked
“Yes, after last incident. I am not so hopeful. “Uncle replied in low tone.
“Put aside that incident Uncle, it’s good, that everything finished so early. Anyway I forgot, what does his girl doing? “I asked
“She is working in Delhi”
“Any other proposals which have come?”I asked
“Yes, there are few, all are in initial stage. Let see” Uncle replied
And After few minutes of silence,Uncle came with the golden words, which I hate the most
“Marriages are made in Heaven. Who are we to play Cupid in it? If it’s destined, it will happen automatically.”
I heard it, gnashed my teeth, clenched my fist and dropped the call.

30 days back from Today

“I don’t know, what actually happened. From the very first day, Mr Das was sounding very immature to me but I ignored. His antics, way of talking and everything else, I was not very comfortable with but still I ignored. But in the morning when he called me, It confirmed my gut feeling that I can’t marry my son in his family” Uncle told me
“What exactly, happened Uncle?”
“His family is very good, no to doubt about that. His daughter is also nice. She would look good with Vyas. “
“Then, what was the problem?”
“He told that he was looking for a guy with height more than 6 feet as Vyas is 5 feet 10inches only so he would not go ahead for the alliance further “Uncle revealed
“Is it? How silly it sounds? “I said
“Anyways, it’s his choice. After all it’s about marriage of his daughter” Uncle added
“Yes, but it was weird Uncle. “
“Yes, I agree.”
“He could have said the same during his first meeting .”
“Yes, Let’s see. This was the only girl for which Vyas agreed instantly.“Uncle said
“But, her father rejected him “I said and dropped the call and laughed out loud.
The smile on my face was not subsiding even after hours of the call.

7 days back from Today

“Yes, everything looks good. They will come in a week with the Girl. Let’s see how thing goes.” Aunty updated me this time.
“What about your Son? Have he seen the profile of the girl?” I asked
“Don’t you talk to him “
“Yes, I do but he never tells me anything. He Just told me that he is happy with whatever girl you all will choose for her “ I told
“Oh, Such a sweetheart. For him, our happiness comes first. He is fine with this profile too although it’s not good as Das’s daughter.” Aunty replied
“But they rejected your Son ” I replied with normal tone although from inside i was smiling .
“Yes, That’s true. After that incident, i am also not very confident about this alliance. Who knows, what they dislike about Vyas ? May be we are overlooking something , which any Girl’s family will look in my Son ” She replied
“Do you think , he is over weight ?” Aunty added
“Yes, I mean no, not at all Aunty” I replied, i was feeling great on the other side of Phone.
“Although Girls these days like Guys with a good physique” I added, so that question remained in Aunty’s mind.
“Is his height a problem ?” She asked again
“Yes, i bit. But shoes with high heels can be used ” I replied
“And his Job ? Do you think , his career growth is fine , compared to his other friends ? ” She queried again
“It’s not bad Aunty. There are only last week of the month , when he has some money crunch, else every thing is fine. Moreover, you all are with if , in case of any financial crisis” I added a salt in the wound.
At that, time i was thinking , this call to be continued forever. There was sadistic pleasure in each of her questions to me.
But as Aunty didn’t get much confidence from any of my answers. She concluded the query session.
“Ok Son, Let’s hope for the best. If They like my Son, I will get him marry as soon as it’s possible. ”

3 months back from Today

“Hey, I am coming to meet you, this Saturday” I got a text from Rakshas
“Really!!! The guy, who never called me for last 3-4 months, is coming to meet me, all of a sudden. There must be something fishy” I thought
“What’s a need to show your face to me? My Bad 🙂 . Anyways , if you are still coming , make sure there are enough balance in your Credit and Debit card.It’s month end and I don’t have money , especially to spend on you .Also come with dozen of chickens, I don’t have chicken form house 🙂 “ I replied
When Rakshas came to my flat, my first question to him was “Tell me the story”
“What story, I came to meet you. We never met for such a long time” Rakshas replied
“Chicken is in the Freezer, if you want to eat that, tell me the reason “I asked again. I had prior experience that Food was the only way to get secret out of Rakshas and Rakshas had not changed over time.
After cracking dozen of leg bones, Rakshas started.
“Her name is Mille. We met through Facebook during my Post graduation days and liked each other instantly. She is working in your City now, so I came to meet her “Rakshas divulged the details.
“And also to meet you “He added with a sly smile.
I heard, I shocked, I got jealous and I looked for something around. I found my slippers lying near by Bed. I stretched my hand, took the slipper from my left hand and threw it directly towards Rakshas. Rakshas was late to react and the slipper hit him directly on the face. Before he could react further, I clenched my fist and pounced on him and started hitting him.
“And you were saying that you came to meet me,But in reality this love story was going on and on for last 3-4 years and I was solacing myself for years that at least no girls were looking at you too, just like me. “ I was still hitting him.
“I am sorry. Forgive me “Rakshas replied with titter of giggles and tried to hold my hand
“I will only stop, if you assure me that i am going with you to meet her” I replied
“Ok, tomorrow for Sure.” Rakshas replied
“And if I like her then you will not come in my way “I added
“Ok, only if she likes you too “Rakshas giggled

Next day we went to meet Mille. Rakshas had already showed me few pictures of Mille and she was very pretty. Needless to say Rakshas had hit the jackpot and in other words, “Langoor ke haath me Angoor”.
I took more time to get ready than Rakshas, who just wore a pair of denims. After taking more than one hour to get ready, we went to the mall, where our meeting was planned. Mille was already waiting for us. Rakshas raised his hand after seeing her from distance. I followed his eyes and it was intersecting a very good looking girl.
“Is this monkey, going to get this Girl?” I thought .
After sharing the pleasantries, we all sat. Mille was talking to Rakshas, in between she was looking at me and smiling. I was looking at both of them, shell shocked that even Rakshas had got his Girl.
“What happened? Why are you so quiet? “ Mille asked me with a smile
“Nothing.” I was still in the trauma.
“Vyas has told me so many things about you. How both of you were partner in Crime in lot of incidents. “Mille added
I smiled only.
“Friends? “ She put her hand forward towards me and my heart Sank.
“My pleasure” I hold her hand.
Then I looked at both of them, as expected Rakshas was quizzing the menu, for items to order.
“Since last night,once Rakshas told me about you, I have not slept. When I saw your picture, I thought to delude him for you came in my mind. When I saw you from distance, I was jealous that this Guy is not single anymore but now for last few minutes, when I saw both of you talking, the feeling is changed.Fire has subsided.I am feeling happy for both of you, but still a little envy of this Fatso.” I confessed

I looked at both of them, both were smiling.
“Now get married “I spoke loudly. Both smiled.
“Why, aren’t you both serious? If not, please tell me, Mille, I am in the queue” I added
“No, no, we do want to get married but ….” Mille replied
“But..?” I asked
“Family problem?” I added
Both nodded.
“Inter Caste marriage? Great, I don’t have any problem in Inter Caste Marriage “I replied looking at Mille.
“We both are from same caste “Mille replied
“Both our families are against Love marriage “Rakshas said, for the first time he looked at someone except Food or mille.
“But why?”
“My sister had a love marriage, which is not very successful “Mille said
“And you know my family. I am the only child and my parents want me to get married for their choice and they are quiet rigid on it.” Rakshas added
“Have you talked with them?” I asked
“No, but I tried to give them some hints but they are firm on arranged marriage” Rakshas replied
“Ok, let’s have some food and then plan something” I said.
“Yes, it seems I am also very hungry “Rakshas said and we laughed.

The Plan

“Have your parents seen more movies than you “I asked
“Are their minds more corrupt than us?” I asked
“Are they naive enough to get bluffed?”
“Yes, they are”
I smiled and we planned.
“We need a profile of a very good looking Girl and Boy, doing very well in their respective careers.” I said
“And a middle age person or couple, who would act as parents of that Girl and Boy “I added
“Done. It will be arranged. “Rakshas said looking at me
“And they will insult your parents ” I added
“No” Both replied in Unison.
“I mean, they will not insult your parents, but you both actually.” I clarified.
“Make them feel like, their children are most underachieved person in their generation” I added
“That, Their Son and Daughter are the one, to whom , no one wants to get married.”
“Means, hit hard on their confidence on us ” Mille said
“Bang on ” I replied
“Any then introduce our parents to each other” Rakshas replied
“Yes…And my role will be of the introducer “I added
“Better, take a help of one of your friend too “Rakshas said to Mille.
“And if she is good looking. Give her my number “I added
“Great. So come to my city in a week or two” Rakshas concluded.

I received the call, it was Mille.

Bullett Raja

जब येह आयेंगे तोह गरमी थोड़ी बढ जायेगी , पता चल जायेगा !!!

अगर येह बौरा गये तोह मार मार के बदन को दर्र देंगे , फिर मार देंगे!!!!

Salt and Pepper of Life …

You might have read them before but this time they are coming together . As a hardcopy, AS A BOOK !!!

To Spent leisure weekend afternoons with you , to befriend with you in insomniac nights….

Salt and Pepper of Life… is collection of those overlooked incidents whose little sprinkle goes a long way in life and makes you realize the value of such moments.

Salt and Pepper of Life ...
Salt and Pepper of Life …

Price of the Book is INR 245 /- + Shipping Charges

E-Book is available @ INR 50/- Only

Links to buy the Books :-

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That’s why I hate travelling

BACK ON PUBLIC DEMAND!! Swagat nahi karoge aap hamara?

I have a very charming habit of giving unknown people a weird look, every time they try to start conversation with me, needless to say I have very few friends and made fewer friends during journey.
Although it is difficult to admit, that too after the release of “Yeh Jawaani hai Deewani “, but I must confess that I don’t like to travel. Sharing oxygen and gaseous body emissions with hundred odd people for a particular duration of time is not the most appealing idea to me.
Not to mention my another bewitching characteristic, motion sickness. Since childhood, I was very good at vomiting violently if I had to go for a longer distance than from my fridge to my bed. And I used this as a major excuse for avoid travelling, but don’t remember when DEAR GOD took this wonderful blessing from me.
The idea of going somewhere, always gives me few sleepless nights. Maybe it has to be with the fact that I like being at home. I like sitting in the couch that has a dent in the shape of my bum already imprinted on it. I like knowing what’s in the fridge, knowing the phone number of the neighborhood shop by heart so that I can dial it when the milk or bread runs out. I adore the luxury of browsing through my bookshelf to pick any book than sitting ideal during journey and noticing co-passengers irritating behavior.
In other words, for the world although, I am very Boring person but for me it’s divine to be on the aforementioned dent in my couch in home forever.
But that day, I had to reach somewhere and I had no other option but to book a ticket on IRCTC. Next day I found myself in front of coach of the train, where I had to spend my next five hrs. It was still 10 min from departure of the train so I went ahead to nearby book shop.
“Hey listen, show me some latest fiction book “I said
Although there was no one on the shop except me but still the shopkeeper ignored my voice and kept rubbing his nails against each other.
There are enough reasons for me to hate Baba Ramdev and this one was one of them.

After Cricket, Movie and Politics, to save hair fall is the greatest fascination which most Indians have. I am not sure whether this trick from Baba Ramdev has done any favors to a single Indian or not but I am very much sure that, every time I see anyone rubbing their nails, I feel like punching hard on their face.
“Hello” I was louder this time
He looked at me, grinned and said pointing towards his fingers.
“It helps, Along with Kapalbhati; I am doing this for last 2 years “He acknowledged
“Yes, I know. My friend’s hair started falling at the age of 20 and after that he started doing all these stuffs “I said
“And how is he now?” He asked with curiosity
“Give me that book first “I said, pointing to ‘And the Mountains echoed’
He took the book, ‘Sir, please tell me, how is your friend now?’ He asked again
I snatched the book from his hand and gave him a thousand note.
“What happened to your friend, Sir? “ He queried again
I looked for the time. It was getting late and my train was about to go.
“Give me the money back” I shouted this time. There were still questions in his eyes.
“He is using wig now” I grinned.
It was sure that he didn’t like my answer but may be the manner of my response hurt him more.
“I don’t have change; let me get the change first “He replied.
Train signaled and it was about to go.
“Give me, my money back. My train is about to go “I screamed.
“Wait, wait, I am coming with change.” He said and went to nearby shop for the change. I knew, he was returning the favor for my gag.

Train started crawling now. I looked at shop owner once. He was no way near to return me my money in next 2-3 mins and that would be too late. I looked at the Book shop once again.
“Two copies of ‘And the Mountains echoed’ @ 1000, was not bad choice either, at least I could gift another copy to someone.” I took another copy of the book from the shop and ran toward my coach in the train.
The Shop owner saw this and he ran toward me. Now I had to win two races. First race was against the moving train and second one was against that shop owner.
Losing the race with train was out of question as it would definitely lead the shop owner to grab my neck and i could found myself in Hospital.

I ran faster. I was about to touch the rod at the compartment gate but Train also gained momentum. Distance between my hand and train was increasing and I was about to lose the first race. But then there was a guy at the entrance. He saw me running toward the train and extended his hand.
Given any other situation, I would avoid this all Guys DDLJ scene repetition but shop owner was about to catch me, so I hold his hands tightly and jumped inside the compartment. Now I was in the running train and the shop owner was still at the platform frazzled.
There was a small exchange of foul language between myself and that shop owner. Out of frustration, the shop owner even threw stone chips on me, needless to say train was faster and he was not Abhinav Bindra. I won the battle and train moved passed the platform.
“Thanks” I said to that guy and went inside and took my seat.

I hate travelling and I didn’t need to remind it to myself. It was a day journey but half of the passengers were sleeping, as if it was their first sleep after their daughter’s marriage and Bidaai.
“BEEP” I said [Replace BEEP with other crude word as per your convenience]

There was one newspaper and some set of passengers were sharing that single newspaper. Every page of the newspaper was circulated in the compartment, just like the examination notes. I observed that the page having photo of Katrina Kaif was very much in demand. Every time that page was released by one passenger, multiple numbers of hands fought (but in a sophisticated manner) to pick that page.
I found that few of the uncles won Katrina Kaif twice irrespective of their not so agile body and few were still amatory taking a glance of her from distance. Their desperation to get that paper proved the common complaint of many parents that they can’t watch “Sheila Ki Jawani” enough in their TV Set, due to presence of Kids in home.

“Poor Chaps “. I thought.
But Kids in the Train were not naïve either. They were making sure that not a single penny left in their parent’s wallet. They had to taste each and every food item which hawkers were selling. One of the kid was pulling his father’s shirt every time any food item was coming. After sometime cold drink came.
“Dad, I need Pepsi” He said while pulling his Father’s shirt to drew attention.
His Father was still busy in glancing Katrina from distance and waiting for his turn.
“Dad” The Kid pulled his shirt again.
His dad ignored. After few minutes, I heard 3 sounds one by one.
“Charrrrrrr” Sound of tearing of Shirt
“Thap” Sound of Slap on the Kid’s face
“awwwwwww” Sound of the Kid’s bawl
And then the fourth sound came. It was of my laughter. I laughed vigorously and the Kid started yelling more.
I looked around. Everyone was looking at me with animosity.
“Sorry” I said and started looking at other side of window.
After sometime, I again looked inside the compartment. That Kid was still staring at me with same hatred in his eyes which Mithun Chakraborty used to have against AmrishPuri in every eighties movies.
It was better to move to another seat then getting a punch on the face by Mithun Chakrabotry.So I stood up and looked around. Except that Kid, no one was looking at me. I smiled animatedly at him again. That Kid started crying again and I went to look for another seat in the compartment.

The Train was almost vacant so I got the seat in same compartment far away from that Baby Mithun Chakraborty.
That Guy who rescued me from the shop owner was sitting just in front of me. He smiled and I responded too. [End of conversation from my end.]
I didn’t want to indulge myself into observing other passengers’ behavior this time, so I took the book from my bag to spent rest of my time in the Train.
“Is this the new book from Khaled Hosseini” That Guy sitting in front of me started the conversation. I nodded affirmatively. [End of conversation from my end.]
“Hi, Myself Vikash” He Said
“Narayan” I replied, I told him wrong name. [End of conversation from my end.]
After sometime, He again tried to start a conversation.
“So Where are going?” He said
“Last Station” I replied [End of conversation from my end.]
“No, I thought, you went inside this train just to get rid of that person “He countered
I didn’t reply.
“What have you done?” He queried again.
“The rope that pulls you from the flood can become a noose around your neck.”
I read this line in the book. That Guy was doing the same thing.
“Nothing” I replied [End of conversation from my end.]

“Am I disturbing you?” He asked again
“No, No “I smiled and replied back [“Yes, You are. I don’t want anyone of invade my space“]
“Actually travelling in day in quite a tough task and it’s tougher, if you have nothing to write “He clarified
And for the first time, I took my attention to that Guy.
“Are you a writer?” I queried
“What exactly you write “I questioned
“I write many things. Sher, Gazal, Nazm & Poems to be very precise “He answered
“Do you want to listen? “ He asked. I nodded affirmatively.

मेरे मासूम से बच्चे की आँख में आँसू, ऐ ग़रीबी हमें त्यौहार से डर लगता है… “ He said

I repeated the words in my mind again. “Wow !! That’s very good” I said
“One more please “I requested
A Creative mind always looks for audience , especially writers and Poets.

पानी फेर दो इन पन्नों पर.. ताकि धुल जाए सियाही सारी.. ज़िन्दगी फिर से लिखने का मन होता है कभी-कभी…
“This one was even better “I said. He acknowledged proudly.
After that we talked for a while. He shared few more with me and those were equally good.
“I must tell you, your creations are very good” I encouraged him
“My Wife says the same thing that I am better in Literature than my Job”
“What is your Job?” I asked
“I am in IT “He said and told about his organization
“Same here!!” I replied and informed about my employer too.
“That’s great, My Wife is also in the same company “He replied back
I nodded
I involved myself in reading the book in hand and he was still looking for some topic to start the conversation again.
There is no containment in Human mind, it always looks for appreciation and Vikash was not different.
He was trying to remember few of his poems.
“Just recently, I got married “He started the conversation again
“First Poem I recited to her was

साथ साथ घूमते रहे रात भर दोनों, मुझे आवारा , उसे चाँद कहती है दुनिया “
“She must be feeling very proud of you” I added
“That I don’t know “He replied
“But She should be “I said
Later I told him the whole Book Shop incident and we had a good laugh
“I would have taken more books” He supported my misdeed.
After some times, we reach the destination and we were about to go.
“It was nice meeting you “He said
“Same here!!” I acknowledged
“Hey Vikash, When are you going back to Kolkata”I asked
“Not Sure, May be in one or two days “
“Great!! Then we can meet some day in Kolkata to listen to your new poems” I replied
“Sure. Give me your number” He replied back enthusiastically
I gave the number.
“Okay, Narayan !!!” He saved my Number
“I will tell my real Name to him, some other day” I thought
“It’s my Business card” He gave his Business card and we parted away.
I took his card in Wallet. Next day while returning, I took the Business card to save the number.
I typed the number and one name appeared. I skipped few heart beats.
“No, it can’t be possible. It might be my mistake”
I again looked at the Business card, typed each and every digit after verifying. After the completion of number, again same name appeared. The number was already stored in my mobile but with different name.

<<Love Failure – Continuation >>

I took the phone and opened the message.
“I am not sure, how serious you are. But looks like it’s little late. My family is planning for my marriage now “
I took the mobile and hit it hard on the wall. Mobile shattered in pieces and so did my heart. I arranged my mobile but heart remained dismantle.
The Very next day, I stormed to her cube.
“I want to talk to you”
“Come outside”
We came outside. “So, your marriage is fixed “I asked
“Not Fixed, But talks are going on. It’s still in initial stage.” She replied
“Then, what’s the problem? If it is not fixed, Tell your family that you don’t want to marry that Guy” I replied with anger.
“No, I can’t. I am not sure about you “She admitted slowly
I didn’t reply and turned in opposite direction. She hold my hand.
“See, don’t get me wrong. You are a nice Guy and I really like you but…“ She pleaded
“I don’t need the consolation prize of being a nice Guy. “ I outraged
“Why don’t you understand? I need some time before being sure about you, even if you are serious” She clarified
“I don’t have any problem. Take your time. One Month, Two Month or even six months” I replied back
“But, My Family will not wait for so long” She replied
“Great!!! So you need time for a Guy, who loves you immensely but you will marry someone, whom your parent will select just after meeting once or twice “I countered
“Who Knows, he might reject me “She replied
“That, No one will do. “ I replied
“Because anyone can lose their heart over this pretty face and no one will ever know how mean this heart can be“I added and stormed out of that place.
She tried to call me, many a times but I never picked the call. I never replied to her SMS and messages even once.
One day, She sent me SMS that her marriage is fixed.
I deleted all her mails, messages. I deleted her from my contact list in Facebook, Twitter and internal office messenger but couldn’t able to delete her from my Mobile.
May be it was kept for today only.

<<Love Failure – End >>

I smiled and saved that number with a new name, Vikash.
Train started running again and I remembered one of Vikash’s creation

छोडो,बिखरने देते हैं ज़िंदगी को.. आखिर समेटने की भी एक हद होती है. ……