Ideally this post should come around Friendship day but if something is accomplished on proper time, most definitely it is not done by me.
Even Oxford is planning to add my name in their dictionary with the meaning ‘One who does senseless, worthless and random things’. I used the word ‘Random’ because one of my friends had a habit of doing some equally effective blunders on regular basis. I also have a history of doing blunders but consistency is missing here too.
Coming to the friend, yesterday only I realized that for past few months, I hardly talked with any of my friends .I have already started ignoring calls on my mobile and I rarely chat with any one . Is this the early sign of self destruction or mental imbalance? Who knows? But Introspection is really required.
There is one term in Chemistry, Molality – i.e. number of moles of solute dissolved in one kilogram of solvent, perhaps due to some “Chemical Locha“ , this number is very low in my case
It amazes me a lot, when I see 300 plus friends in someone’s face book account .I hardly have around 60 and believe me, it seems my plate is full of variety of dishes. Today I scrutinize my friend list in Face book and tried to classify my friends in few categories.
Disclaimer: – All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely INTENTIONAL
1) Tum status update karo, main ‘Like’ karunga – We hardly talk to each other in person but when it comes to any Social networking forum, we put our comments on each others’ posts . We like each other’s comments so much as if only two GYAAN Gurus are left in the world now and our discussion is going on just for the sake of man kind.
Last night I posted 2+2 =4 on my wall and friends of this communality started clicking on like button, as if I derived formula for winning games in Overseas by Indian Cricket Team.
2) No private life for Celebrities –
I logged in face book and one of my friends had posted own photograph, with comment.
“Just got up, do you think I need a hair cut?” and comments were pouring all over the world with all type of suggestions. I somehow ignored and but in the next few hour my celebrity friend posted another photograph.
“Here is my new look”
And all so-called hair stylist in the world started putting their comments. If this was not enough, by end of day my friend posted another picture working on laptop.
“Puffy eyes, Need a break”
Really!! Thank God!!!
You really need a break and we too need a break from your day to day visual update. I agree that Celebrities have no personal life and media always try to have a glimpse of your life but please don’t make your self so much accessible. We respect your privacy and you please respect our tolerance limit. 🙂
3) Dekh Video Dekh (DVD) – When you see some of your friend has shared some video with added comment like ‘Lol’ or ‘hahahaha’, you click on the video with the expectation that it would be a laugh riots but by the time the Video concludes you realize that I was not a laugh riot but if the friend who had shared the video would come in front of you , they will most definitely be a riot. I wonder, if some one is paying them to waste other’s time.
Some times another type of videos are also shared, with quote like ‘I cried after watching this ‘, and believe me when I clicked on that, it was really funny. In fact I tempted to put comment like ‘Lol’ or ‘hahahaha’
4) The World is a family – When you reach some new place, what will you do first? Inform your family? Correct.
But what about them who treats the whole world as their family.
They are left with only one option; they have to update the City in their profile. After all this is the only way the world, which they treat as their family can be aware that they landed safely to other place. This announcement is mostly required, if someone landed to foreign soil.
I assume that the very first moment after landing to the foreign soil, even before the emigration check, they inform the whole world that “THEY HAVE ARRIVED”.
Just a possible scenario, what if they get deported in very next minute :).
5) Ghajini Dost – Some one pinged me .
I checked the name and replied
“Bako “. I still felt that “Bako” was not the correct word and it was very rude from my side. One of my college friend had taught me that one should use “Bhauko” for such type of friends ,it would be perfect.
“How are you?”
“Perfectly fine” . ( Come to the point mate)
“ And how come you pinged me ?“
“What are you saying? I was thinking about you only “
I ignored and didn’t reply. After some time my friend pinged me again
“Are you busy in something ?”
“No, tell me “ ( Just trying to ignore you !! )
“ Nothing yaar. Last few days I was just planning to call you, didn’t get time”
“Ok” ( Yes, Planning is very much required. That too if you have not called someone for a long time)
“Don’t you think that we should have some get together?. It’s a long time since we last seen each other “
“Yes, I think so. I am also dying to meet every one” (No way, I don’t want to meet anyone . In fact I will die if I have to tolerate you again for few hours)
“Great. Let’s meet on Monday. I am coming to Kolkata”
“Really !!!! “ ( Ok, so that is the point . You are coming to Kolkata , that’s why all get together and planning to call you stuff)
“yes…tu to kabhi aayega nahi mujhse milne . Doston ki to tujhe kabhi yaad aati nahi “
“No , no , nothing like that. Didn’t get time” ( Even I will call you the same way , when I have to come to your city 🙂 ) .
“Chal milte hain Monday ko “
“but I am not in Kolkata anymore. I am in Gangtok at the moment”
I waited for another ping but no response came from other end.
Some how my Ghajini friend again forgot to ping me . It’s not their fault actually. Just that they are suffering from short term memory loss
6) Party Friends – It’s your birthday today and you are expecting birthday wishes from lot of your friends but due to grueling work schedule, they just forgot to wish you.
After 2-3 days somehow your friend realizes their mistake.
“I am so sorry. I am such a bad friend “
“I am so sorry. Just forgot your birthday. How can I do this? I am very bad “
“It’s ok “(Who better than me know how bad you are)
“Belated Happy Birthday “
Here comes the P word.
Now another scenario.
There might be a huge possibility that you too can forgot their Birthday, so they will keep reminding you about their Birthday one week in advance and on the D day.
“Happy Birthday “
“Thanks and where is my gift?”
Here comes another word, G word.
7) Busy Friends – Few days back, I called one of my friend.
“Busy at the moment, will reach home in 30 mins . Phir aaram se baatein karte hain “ response from other end.
“Ok “ I replied back
I am still waiting for the call with little disturbed mind. My friend has still not reached home. Should I file a police complaint?
To get suggestions, I called another friend. No One picked the call. After some time I got message on my mobile.
“Sorry, missed your call. Washing clothes at the moment. Will call you exactly at 11 “
Till that time I am waiting for the call.
Today I realized that actually my friend might have started a part time business of Laundry and once all the clothes are washed, I will get a call exactly at 11.
There are few more dishes left in my friendship plate but they don’t cause much indigestion problem.
They call sometimes, they talk sometimes, they ping sometimes, they share photos sometimes, they share links sometimes, they share GYAAN some times, they share poems, they share own view on what ever they want (almost everything) but sometimes only.
Now after writing all these, I am feeling very relaxed and all my grudge against everyone has gone . It would be better to end this with Airtel’s new ad so that no one give SUPARI against my name.
Chai ke Liye jaise toast hota hain
Waise har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Aise har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Koi subah paanch baje neend se jagaye
Koi raat ko teen baje jaan bachaye
Ek teri kadki mein sharing kare
Aur Ek tere budget mein sneak in kare
Koi nature se guest koi host hota hain
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Ek ghadi ghadi kaam aaye par kabhi kabhi call kare
Ek kabhi kabhi kaam aaye aur ghadi ghadi call kare
Gossip ka koi ghoomta phirta satellite
Koi sath rahe toh kar de sab alright
Koi effortless koi forced hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Chat Room friend koi classroom friend
Koi bike pe race wala vroom vroom friend
Shopping mall wala shopping friend
Koi Exam hall wala copying friend
Movie buddy groovy buddy
Hi buddy–Bye buddy
Joke buddy Poke buddy
Gaana Buddy Shaana buddy
Chaddi Buddy Yaar Buddy
A to Z
Gin din ke naam bheja Roast hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai