Jab se you left me!!! November 26, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, Bill Gates, Dhanush, Genelia, Jab se You left me, Kareena Kapoor, Kolaveri, Saajan, Sanjay Dutt, Why This Kolaveri Di
1 comment so far
It is exactly the hundredth days since you ‘left’ me (Oh God!!! If the whole world is making hundred then Why Sachin is deprived of his hundredth hundred).
Although many people will argue that the word ‘left’ does not support what happened actually. They say either you ‘dumped’ me or you actually ‘got rid of‘me.
But these words hurt me more so just to appease my ego, let’s stick with the word ‘left’ only.
There was no rocket science to conclude that we were poles apart and I knew it since the very first day I saw you.
But then things changed,One day we became friends and after that when ever you smiled at me,I started feeling as if you were just perfect for me.
It was different ballgame altogether that even those days whenever I saw you talking and smiling with some one else I felt like hitting hard on that person’s face. But your one smile for me was enough for me to forget everything but you.
Those were the days when my world was revolving around you only. Your only call was enough for me to leave behind the whole world.
And if i go into details , then i can safely say that it was not me
who started conversation, infact it was you who broke the ice first. Although for you it might be just start of a friendship but for me, it was my charm which did the trick . I always thought that you couldn’t really resist ignoring my charm and started flirting with me.
I still remember, it was you who offered to take a stroll together. For you it was again just a mere walk but I used the word ‘Walking date’ for our walk, which no other dictionaries support till date.
I still believe that I would not have fallen in love with you unless we reached Ice-cream parlor that day. I would have never known that a ice cream flavor named ‘Green Chilly’ exists in the world unless you forced me to buy one ‘Kesar pista’ and one ‘Green Chilly’ flavor ice cream candy.
I was very reluctant to have an ice cream in that chilling evening of January and Ice cream Candy was complete no no for me but once you forced me and told me that ‘Green Chilly’ was your favorite flavor, I forgot everything in the world except that ice candy and when you took a byte of ‘Green Chilly’ from mine, I knew it was Love.
And When exactly at 12 in one midnight, you called me and started singing Birthday jingle just to wish me, my joy had no boundaries. I forgot that It was me who lied with you about my birthday and told you the coming Saturday as my birthday, just to spend a full day with you. And when you planned a birthday treat for me the very next day, I was convinced that I want to spend rest of my life with you.
From that day onwards whenever I close my eyes, I see you and whenever I open my eyes, I want to see you.
Am I sounding more like SRK? Ok!!! , then I am recalling my statement.
Since the time you left me, every time I close my eye. I feel sleepy only and whenever I open my eyes, I want to go for sleep again. Yes, that’s true. You never invaded my sleep and in fact you never came in my dreams too.
I thought it would be very difficult for me to come out of the trauma. But exactly the same day when you left me, Jeetu asked me whether I was interested to accompany them in watching a movie and actually I wanted to go. But I replied negatively because I didn’t want to eradicate the feeling I was experiencing at that moment. Even I ignored food that day just because I didn’t want to feel any tummy problem when actually I wanted to feel the pain with whom you left me.
I tuned my TV for few sad songs but Kareena’s Chamak challo act stopped my movement on the remote too.
Atlast I went to bed, I knew you would be reason of my insomniac and I won’t be able to sleep. But as soon as I went to my bed, I slept and I slept for two hour more than average. You didn’t come in my dreams either.
I bunked my office for few days too, just to console myself that I was not in the state of dealing with codes, when some Girl had already taken the control of my mind.
I started growing my beard too , just to get a feel of lonely looser lover look but neither anyone noticed my absence in my workplace and nor my beard started growing at faster rate to get any attention.
Atlast I went to my office too. I deleted all your mails and photographs, only to realize it was achieved somewhere else in my laptop too.
I wanted to destroy all your cards and gifts only to realize that those Gifts were too expensive to crush.
I had seen many people either took a stiff high or drastic low in career after their breakup. I tried for the later but didn’t succeed so I attempted the former too. I engrossed myself, only to realize in next 4 hour that I was good for nothing, when Client summoned me and slammed me for all my in-competencies.
I took a break for self realization. Nothing was supporting my feeling; in fact last meeting with client had proved that my rage was not strong enough to make me the next bill gates. I would remain in the group of average people.
When nothing worked for me , I tried to act like ‘Sanjay Dutt’ of ‘Saajan’ movie and tried to be happy for your happiness but that didn’t work either , every time I saw your fiance , I feel like hitting hard on his face . I always try to find some fault in him and believe me I found many. Even I compared myself with him many a times and what so ever was the result of the comparison, the fact was he just won heart of a normal girl like you, not of ‘Genelia D’souza’ in any case.
I even discovered few irritating things about you too. The world might say it’s my frustration, what ever it is !!! But the thing is, how I ignored your annoying behavior before.
Irrespective of all these failure in expressing my pain as a normal heartbroken guy, about one thing I was sure that I will never fall in love again. But then again why Aakriti is looking more beautiful to me these days and why ‘Kuch kuch hota hain’ every time she smiles.
Why I am ready for a ‘Walking date’ with her, which we used to do regularly.
They say ‘I don’t know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too’
But then why didn’t I felt the same? I never felt pain in any part of my body , except my waist , Doctors are saying that is too due to long sitting hours on computer not due to any heart break. I never became insomniac, I never became workaholic, I never started drinking, I never hit some one, I never drove my car with speed greater than 100kmph, I never lost interest in foods. I never reacted on some thing unexpectedly. But then If it was not love then why your number is still in my mobile, why I keep a check on your profile updates and why I don’t like any thing about your fiance .
I don’t know how cheesy it may sound but the fact is no matter how much I find you annoying these days but still every time I see you , I feel like i am missing something. I still like your smile , no matter how forced it may look and about your fiancé , I STILL HATE HIM
—————
It’s my version Dhanush’s latest song. The ‘soup song’ , the ‘flop song‘ ‘why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di’.
Its love in BIHAR September 10, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, Its Love in Bihar, Jo Dooba So Paar - Its Love in Bihar, Jo Dooba So Paar - Its Love in Bihar movie, Jo Dooba So Paar Movie, Jo Duba so Paar, Jo Duba So Paar-Its Love in Bihar, Julian Asasnge, Marriage, Mayawati, Plane Landing, Reception, Sutta Girl, Wikileaks
6 comments
I hate attending any marriage and especially those never ending wedding ceremonies where playing loud music, dancing endlessly and drinking as much as you can are as indispensable to the marriage as the bride and groom itself.
I truly believe that the marriage ceremony should be as simple as like clicking on ‘I Agree’ button on any webpage by bride and groom both and that’s it , no more exaggerated emotions and no more showing for your wealth to the society.
Somehow I managed to escape from most of my friends’ marriage but I couldn’t get ride of request from ‘Narayan’ my friend from Darbhanga, Bihar.
“You have to come else even I will not go for my marriage “
“Really!!!! “ I quizzed
“yes….”He replied
“But I will send my Sword to marry your Bhabhi.” He added
“Your Sword ?” I quizzed again
“Haan….Thakuron me Chalta hain Yaar….But your Bhabhi will look very stupid while exchanging Wedding Garlands with a sword and posing with my sword on the stage as married couple” He concluded.
I laughed. “No, I will not make the situation that much funny , I will come “I replied.
I informed Narayan that I will join the Baarat directly. I reached a little late and by that time all the Baaraties were in full groove. It was the time for every young boys and girls, every uncle and aunties from early forties to late eighties to showcase their dancing skills. One of the Uncle took the responsibility that every one have to dance. He was dragging all other Uncles and Aunties to dance. First every one showed a little resistance and they started competing with each other. The Uncle was forcibly pulling some of the aunties too and they too started dancing. I must say Uncle would be very popular during his college days. When he almost pulled every lady and few male members to dance, he looked around and came to me
“You are Narayan’s friend no ? “
“Yes”
“ So ,Dance “
“Narayan’s friend !!! So Dance ? Is this like some compulsory friendship test ” I thought
“Uncle, I don’t know how to dance “
“It’s very easy, just follow me “and Uncle started dancing again.
I looked at his dance moves. Looks like some Plane is taking off and then landing abruptly. His high jump continued and he forgot about me and I sighed a relief,
“Now Sheila song “One of the girl yelled.
“Yes…”All the Aunties supported in Unison.
Band reciprocated and I saw another amazingly choreograph act from all the aunties .It was mix of acts from Shakira, Katrina and Malaika arora khan but with their broken legs.
As I had enough of laughter and Narayan was also involved with his relatives, so once Baarat entered the inside Marriage hall, I came out of the hall. The marriage area was quite big and I settled on one Bench near by where all Cars were parked.
“Away from crowd, loud sound and those Dirty Dancing steps, this place seemed like Divine.”
I was very tired so I looked at sky and closed my eyes and tried to relax a bit .After sometime when I opened my eyes, the chaos was little less. Every one went inside. I look around and no one was there. Suddenly I saw one girl standing against one of the Car parked there alone. The place looked a little smoky from my eyes.
“Is she smoking? Is something catching fire? Is she the bride itself? Is she trying to escape from marriage? Will Narayan be lucky enough? “I have watched lot of Hindi movies so such thoughts are but obvious.
I couldn’t resist my temptation to see, what exactly was going there.
I took my mobile near my ears, pretending to be on conversation with someone and went near the car. Bad News for “Narayan”, she was not her wife and Good news for me “She was beautiful and not looked married”.
It was not that I never saw women smoking but seeing a Girl smoking in her ethnic wear was quite a treat. Also for last ten years, I am living outside Bihar for most of the times, so I still had the same image of Girls from Bihar which I had 10 years back. I roamed around 2-3 times just to confirm that what I was seeing was real.
She saw me, ignored and continued her smoking. When ,I again moved in front of her. She asked
“Do you need matchbox?”
I heard and pretended to pause my conversation, raised eyebrow
“What?”
“Do you need Matchbox?” She asked again
“No”
“Cigarette?”
“No”
“Then why are you roaming around me for last five minutes. There are other girls more beautiful than me inside the marriage hall” She asked
I was really not expecting such rude response from her.
“Mind your words. I am talking with someone and network is coming in this area only “I tried to save myself.
“You must be using some superficial network, because no network is coming here” She looked at her mobile. .
I looked at my mobile. “Emergency written on my mobile was smiling on me”.
“My mobile’s network is working here “I replied and walked as fast as I can from that place.
“The World is like a Playground and we all are the fielders, one needs to do be attentive enough while fielding and this is the beauty of the game, you misfield few and you catch fewer.”
No need to tell that I misfielded few minutes back.
I was feeling very hungry, so I went inside the marriage hall. Photo session was going on the stage. Every one was congratulating the couples and sharing one Kodak moment with them. Narayan and his wife were reluctantly but continuously smiling for each photograph. While one of the leg pieces of Chicken was inside my mouth, I analyzed few things. Irrespective of in which part of India, the marriage is happening, older generation has a very unique habit of posing with the newly married couple by standing in between them and putting their hand on the heads of couples, pretending to give them blessing as if by putting their hand they are completing some electrical circuit and sooner the blessing will start flowing from them to the couples. You will always find lot of such photos in any marriage album.
Another very normal photo any one will find in marriage album of younger brother or sisters of the couple sitting on the handle of chair in between the couples to give “WE ARE FAMILY” moment. I still don’t understand why can’t they stand one side of couple, or may be stand behind them
If these moments were not enough every married couple started putting their babies in Bride or groom’s lap for another photosession.
“They Say Marriage is an Institution. But looking at these marriage ceremonies , it seems even admission to these institution is very tedious”.
Any ways, my eyes were looking for Ice cream suddenly one of the aunties yelled “Vidhya, Come beta, have one photo with your didi & Jeeju “ and later she dragged some one to stage . The dragged girl was no other than the Sutta girl .
She came, she stood along the Bride for photo shoot but Photographers too, these days never missed a chance of fielding.
He clicked the photograph and then said;
“Now you go to Jijaajee’s side for one photograph.” She reciprocated.
“Now come in between “The photographer cum director announced and She sat on the handle of the chair’s with the couples.
“Take few mores photographs. Apne ghar walon ko nahi dikhayega apni pasand “ I came and said to the photographer.
He heard, grinned and reciprocated.
“Bhaiya, She gave me smile , when she saw me taking her photograph” The photographer said to me.
“Bas , baat ban gyi teri , Shaadi ki date bata diyo aaunga teri shaadi me “ I said to him and walked away.
After finishing my food, I looked at Narayan once; he was looking very happy and signaling each and everyone to come to join them in the stage for a photograph. Before he could ask me to come, I wanted to go outside but Narayan saw me and signaled me to come to stage.
“No, I won’t “I signaled but then I went to stage.
“What is this Narayan? You know I don’t like all this “
“Only one photograph. I will show every one on Facebook that atlast you come to my marriage.”
I stood along Narayan and photographer took one photograph.
“Bhaiya, ab Bhabhi ke side aa ek photo” Photographer said to me and grinned. I guess, he took my comment about that Sutta Girl for him a little personally and trying to be extra friendly with me.
“No , its ok.”
Now I looked around, People were dancing on the dance floor and drinks were served to few in the corner of hall.
“Few years back these things were not in Bihar. The drinking might have happening but in close rooms only. There was no culture of DJs and dance floors. But serials, movies and inspiration from Punjabi Shaadis have prompted them to have marriage as lavish as it can be . They understood another word “Enjoyment” and on the name of “Enjoyment” they do all these which were termed unnecessary few years back but now it is a measurement scale of your social status. Bihar has changed. Atleast the way people think about marriages now.” I thought
I went outside and found that Sutta girl sitting on the bench alone. My first feeling said me to go inside but then I then the legendary line appeared in my mind“One can’t left field due to one misfielding”.
I came and sat near her on the bench. She didn’t expect it but ignored.
“Any problem, Why are you sitting alone” I asked, I wanted to break the ice anyway.
She ignored again.
“Your friend will be fine with Narayan. No need to worry about “I added. She did not respond.
I waited for few minutes and after no response from her side, I stood to go and at the same time she might realized that I won’t go inside. So she also stood to go.
She stopped, looked at me and asked
“Why are you following me?”
“I am not following you, it’s just the coincidence that I was getting bored inside so I came outside and both the time I found you alone here” I tried to clear my stand
“So you too don’t like this “shor sharaba”?’ She asked. Still standing.
“No, Not at all. I am always against of any kind of PDW, I mean Public display of wealth. I still like South Indian marriage, little subtle compared to all this.“ I said and sat on the bench again.
“Are you a south Indian?” She asked
“No. Do I look like South Indian?” I asked
“No. Just a thought. As you are advocating South Indian marriages.” She explained and sat.
“Good!!! Conversation with a beautiful girl sitting next to you all alone is any day better than going inside and part of the madness” I thought.
“I live in Gangtok. Where are you from?” I asked
“I am from Darbhanga only” She replied
I drilled down all my experience of the state from which I belong.
“Let me guess, you must be either in Bank or in a teaching line or a doctor or may be preparing for the same” I asked.
Parents in Bihar still prefer their daughter as Teacher or Doctor or some times Bank PO.
“Yes. I am intern in DMCH” She said
“But how do you know “She asked
“The world is very small place compared to my wisdom “ I replied back , adjusting my collar a little higher in symbol of my intelligence.
She didn’t notice that. We kept quite for some time but I again broke the silence.
“Then, how come a Doctor was smoking?” I asked. She listened and smiled
“So you think that any Sports federation should be governed by sportsperson only .Not those bulky Politicians, who can’t even kick a football “ She asked
“No..Not at all . Playing Sports and managing Sports federation is two different things. And most importantly every one has equal rights to invade government ‘s money and use it for themselves” I sounded more like Civil Society member and she smiled again.
“Same is true for us, Treating some one is our profession but we have our personnel life too. Why Society always expect Teachers or Doctors to set an example for the society.” She said
“I am not interested in your conversation regarding what Society things and what politicians should do. I will better go inside and see how uncles are reacting after gulping 3-4 pegs.” I said and we laughed.
Suddenly some one came running toward me with something in his hand to hit me. “Bhabhi hain teri “ .It was the photographer but before he could hit me , due to high consumption of Alcohol , he lost his balance and collapsed on the ground
First I didn’t realize , why he came to hit me but then when I probed further, I got the reason.The photographer was still babbling , I went toward him and helped him to stand and took him inside.
“She was asking about you only“ I said to him
“Really !!!“The Photographer asked me , still not in his senses.
“Yes “I said, with as much sincerity as I can pretend
“Shaadi me aaiyega jaroor bhaiya “ He said .
“Ok…You sit inside . I will talk to her about you “I said and went outside.
“Bhaiyajee ..maafi ..Ab meri Love Story aapke haath me hain “ He yelled from inside and I stood my hand toward him and came back.
Sutta Girl was still waiting their.
“What happened? “ She asked
“Nothing …That Guy wants to marry you “I replied
She looked at me amused.
“You can’t give me this look . This look is reserved for Mayawati, which she would use once she would meet Julian Assange of Wikileaks.” I said . She fumed again
“It’s not his fault either. One you are beautiful and another you passed smile on him . Any one can hit other’s for you” I added
“But , I never smiled “ She said
“On stage. During photo session “ I tried to remind her.
“It was just a smile for the photo and not definitely I was passing smile on him “ She argued
“I have left this place ten years back but still the mentality of people living here has not changed. Most of the Guys think some girl has a crush on them just because some point of time , the girl might have looked at them and smiled “ I said
“Why you are talking like this, as if you are alien to this place. Don’t you belong to this place too ?“ She asked
“Yes..I do and that’s why I know that when it comes to Love , people are still very naïve in this part of Country especially Guys.They don’t know how to deal with it“
This might made sense to her too and she kept quite. I tried to make the atmosphere a little lighter. I replied.
“Look at me, How naïve I am. You are beautiful, in fact very beautiful ,for the last one hour we are talking but I didn’t ask your name and not even your phone number“
“Oho..so You are naïve “ She imitated me .
“First you are following me since evening. Now you need my number? Really we are very naïve “ She said sarcastically
“Again you are getting me wrong. I am asking your number just because you are a Doctor and one should have doctor’s contact number in our mobile, in case of emergency and I can’t save a Doctor’s name like Sutta Girl “ I replied.
I knew any one could sense my intensions but a good fielder has to dive some time during fielding. One can get catch some time and some time get our self injured. But Moral of the story “One should keep fielding”.
“ok…I will give you my uncle’s number. He is a doctor too “
“I mean Beautiful Lady Doctors only “ I specified and she giggled a lot this time.
“Ok, its 90…”
She was about the complete the world before some one screamed from inside.
“Where is Vidhya? She has the keys of bride’s room “
“I have to go..” She said and ran toward marriage hall.
I sat there , looking at her running .She stopped , came back to me .
“9020…. “ I could not heard the whole word
“What…. 9022…?
She ran back to the marriage hall. She went inside and again come to the entrance of marriage hall “Reception date “ and ran again.
I cursed the lady who called her.
“902 was confirmed” I thought. I sat there for some time and went inside.
My eyes were looking for her. Marriage was going on. She came 2-3 times but was busy in all these customs in marriage.
I hate all those customs.
After 2-3 hours. Marriage completed and it was time of Bidaai.
Again over exaggerated acting from Bride’s mother and father started.
And I derived the frequency of the crying sound is proportational to how much you love your loved one. ( I might get Nobel Prize for this )
When Bride’s mother proved to the whole world that she loves her daughter most in the world , she stopped crying and we were about to left.
I was again looking for Vidhya. I saw her. Mr Photographer was standing near her and clicking her photographs . I went to the Photograpther and hugged him.
“Good choice brother .Perfect hain tere liye ..Are you coming on Reception?” I asked loud enough that Vidhya could hear it.
“Nahi bhaiya, hum nahi aayenge, Gaun jaa rahe hain. Photo bhi to dikhana hain “ The photographer replied shyly.
I looked at Vidhya . She nodded affirmatively.
“Good” and we all left.
Narayan’s wife who was crying as if she didn’t want to left her family, couldn’t stopped smiling till we reached Narayan’s house. Good for her that she understood it so early that although she left one family , she will become the part of another.
“When is the reception , Narayan ?” I asked
“Why ? “He asked
“Nothing. You all have this problem with me that I never attend any functions. So now today I will attend your Reception and in the late night I will leave.” I replied
“Good….But reception is not today..it is day after tomorrow “Narayan said
Now I couldn’t wait till that time as I had already exhausted all my balanced leave. Also there was no clear indication from Vidhya whether she liked me or not, that’s why it was too early to ask Narayan’s wife about her too.
So I left Narayan’s place and took the next train to my place. There was still some time for train to left the platform. I took my mobile and looked at all the pending tasks I saved on my mobile’s calendar.
“One presentation and credit card bill tomorrow “ I checked. I scrolled “Appointment with Doctor for Dental checkup “ on the next day.
This again diverted my attention towards Vidhya . I started thinking about her.
It will be the same day when Vidhya will come to Narayan’s place on Reception. She might expect me to me their too.
I scrolled calendar to next day suddenly some thing came into my mind.
Vidhya ran back to the gate of marriage hall and screamed “Reception date”
“What was so special about the Reception date “
I looked at the mobile screen and concluded .My heart beat was running faster than Satabdi Express .I dialed the reception date in DDMMYYYY form preceding 90. Mobile rang. Some girl picked the phone.
“Is this Vidhya?”
“Yes…who is this?” Vidhya replied
“It’s me. My Sutta Girl “ I replied.
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai…… August 31, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Airtel, Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, Friendship Day, Lekin har ek friend jaroori hota hain
5 comments
Ideally this post should come around Friendship day but if something is accomplished on proper time, most definitely it is not done by me.
Even Oxford is planning to add my name in their dictionary with the meaning ‘One who does senseless, worthless and random things’. I used the word ‘Random’ because one of my friends had a habit of doing some equally effective blunders on regular basis. I also have a history of doing blunders but consistency is missing here too.
Coming to the friend, yesterday only I realized that for past few months, I hardly talked with any of my friends .I have already started ignoring calls on my mobile and I rarely chat with any one . Is this the early sign of self destruction or mental imbalance? Who knows? But Introspection is really required.
There is one term in Chemistry, Molality – i.e. number of moles of solute dissolved in one kilogram of solvent, perhaps due to some “Chemical Locha“ , this number is very low in my case
It amazes me a lot, when I see 300 plus friends in someone’s face book account .I hardly have around 60 and believe me, it seems my plate is full of variety of dishes. Today I scrutinize my friend list in Face book and tried to classify my friends in few categories.
Disclaimer: – All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely INTENTIONAL
1) Tum status update karo, main ‘Like’ karunga – We hardly talk to each other in person but when it comes to any Social networking forum, we put our comments on each others’ posts . We like each other’s comments so much as if only two GYAAN Gurus are left in the world now and our discussion is going on just for the sake of man kind.
Last night I posted 2+2 =4 on my wall and friends of this communality started clicking on like button, as if I derived formula for winning games in Overseas by Indian Cricket Team.
2) No private life for Celebrities -
I logged in face book and one of my friends had posted own photograph, with comment.
“Just got up, do you think I need a hair cut?” and comments were pouring all over the world with all type of suggestions. I somehow ignored and but in the next few hour my celebrity friend posted another photograph.
“Here is my new look”
And all so-called hair stylist in the world started putting their comments. If this was not enough, by end of day my friend posted another picture working on laptop.
“Puffy eyes, Need a break”
Really!! Thank God!!!
You really need a break and we too need a break from your day to day visual update. I agree that Celebrities have no personal life and media always try to have a glimpse of your life but please don’t make your self so much accessible. We respect your privacy and you please respect our tolerance limit.
3) Dekh Video Dekh (DVD) – When you see some of your friend has shared some video with added comment like ‘Lol’ or ‘hahahaha’, you click on the video with the expectation that it would be a laugh riots but by the time the Video concludes you realize that I was not a laugh riot but if the friend who had shared the video would come in front of you , they will most definitely be a riot. I wonder, if some one is paying them to waste other’s time.
Some times another type of videos are also shared, with quote like ‘I cried after watching this ‘, and believe me when I clicked on that, it was really funny. In fact I tempted to put comment like ‘Lol’ or ‘hahahaha’
4) The World is a family – When you reach some new place, what will you do first? Inform your family? Correct.
But what about them who treats the whole world as their family.
They are left with only one option; they have to update the City in their profile. After all this is the only way the world, which they treat as their family can be aware that they landed safely to other place. This announcement is mostly required, if someone landed to foreign soil.
I assume that the very first moment after landing to the foreign soil, even before the emigration check, they inform the whole world that “THEY HAVE ARRIVED”.
Just a possible scenario, what if they get deported in very next minute .
5) Ghajini Dost – Some one pinged me .
“Hey “
I checked the name and replied
“Bako “. I still felt that “Bako” was not the correct word and it was very rude from my side. One of my college friend had taught me that one should use “Bhauko” for such type of friends ,it would be perfect.
“How are you?”
“Perfectly fine” . ( Come to the point mate)
“Perfect”
“ And how come you pinged me ?“
“What are you saying? I was thinking about you only “
I ignored and didn’t reply. After some time my friend pinged me again
“Are you busy in something ?”
“No, tell me “ ( Just trying to ignore you !! )
“ Nothing yaar. Last few days I was just planning to call you, didn’t get time”
“Ok” ( Yes, Planning is very much required. That too if you have not called someone for a long time)
“Don’t you think that we should have some get together?. It’s a long time since we last seen each other “
“Yes, I think so. I am also dying to meet every one” (No way, I don’t want to meet anyone . In fact I will die if I have to tolerate you again for few hours)
“Great. Let’s meet on Monday. I am coming to Kolkata”
“Really !!!! “ ( Ok, so that is the point . You are coming to Kolkata , that’s why all get together and planning to call you stuff)
“yes…tu to kabhi aayega nahi mujhse milne . Doston ki to tujhe kabhi yaad aati nahi “
“No , no , nothing like that. Didn’t get time” ( Even I will call you the same way , when I have to come to your city ) .
“Chal milte hain Monday ko “
“but I am not in Kolkata anymore. I am in Gangtok at the moment”
“Oh, ok..”
I waited for another ping but no response came from other end.
Some how my Ghajini friend again forgot to ping me . It’s not their fault actually. Just that they are suffering from short term memory loss
6) Party Friends – It’s your birthday today and you are expecting birthday wishes from lot of your friends but due to grueling work schedule, they just forgot to wish you.
After 2-3 days somehow your friend realizes their mistake.
“I am so sorry. I am such a bad friend “
‘What happened?”
“I am so sorry. Just forgot your birthday. How can I do this? I am very bad “
“It’s ok “(Who better than me know how bad you are)
“Belated Happy Birthday “
“Oh..thanks “
“Then ..Party!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Here comes the P word.
Now another scenario.
There might be a huge possibility that you too can forgot their Birthday, so they will keep reminding you about their Birthday one week in advance and on the D day.
“Happy Birthday “
“Thanks and where is my gift?”
Here comes another word, G word.
7) Busy Friends – Few days back, I called one of my friend.
“Busy at the moment, will reach home in 30 mins . Phir aaram se baatein karte hain “ response from other end.
“Ok “ I replied back
I am still waiting for the call with little disturbed mind. My friend has still not reached home. Should I file a police complaint?
To get suggestions, I called another friend. No One picked the call. After some time I got message on my mobile.
“Sorry, missed your call. Washing clothes at the moment. Will call you exactly at 11 “
Till that time I am waiting for the call.
Today I realized that actually my friend might have started a part time business of Laundry and once all the clothes are washed, I will get a call exactly at 11.
There are few more dishes left in my friendship plate but they don’t cause much indigestion problem.
They call sometimes, they talk sometimes, they ping sometimes, they share photos sometimes, they share links sometimes, they share GYAAN some times, they share poems, they share own view on what ever they want (almost everything) but sometimes only.
Now after writing all these, I am feeling very relaxed and all my grudge against everyone has gone . It would be better to end this with Airtel’s new ad so that no one give SUPARI against my name.
Chai ke Liye jaise toast hota hain
Waise har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Aise har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Koi subah paanch baje neend se jagaye
Koi raat ko teen baje jaan bachaye
Ek teri kadki mein sharing kare
Aur Ek tere budget mein sneak in kare
Koi nature se guest koi host hota hain
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hain
Ek ghadi ghadi kaam aaye par kabhi kabhi call kare
Ek kabhi kabhi kaam aaye aur ghadi ghadi call kare
Gossip ka koi ghoomta phirta satellite
Koi sath rahe toh kar de sab alright
Koi effortless koi forced hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Chat Room friend koi classroom friend
Koi bike pe race wala vroom vroom friend
Shopping mall wala shopping friend
Koi Exam hall wala copying friend
Movie buddy groovy buddy
Hi buddy–Bye buddy
Joke buddy Poke buddy
Gaana Buddy Shaana buddy
Chaddi Buddy Yaar Buddy
Kutte –kamine—
Everybody—Sab buddy
A to Z
Gin din ke naam bheja Roast hota hai
Par har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Lekin har ek friend zaroori hota hai
Delhi Belly -First Look May 6, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Aamir Khan, Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, Delhi Belly, Imran Khan
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Amazingly creative first look on Imran Khan’s next release ( Release date -01-Jul-2011) . Try to figure out Vir Singhavi !!!!! I tried hard but couldn’t recognize the third Guy
That’s how it started….. April 9, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, ICe Cream, Marine Lines, Mumbai, Unwanted Rains
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Vaishnav woke up suddenly. He might have a bad dream. The dream in which he saw himself running around a desert, looking for something. He struggled hard to remember everything from dream but failed. He put his hands on his face. It was the month of January but still he was sweating heavily. He shook his face, just to make sure that he was not dreaming.
He looked around for his mobile, which was lying below pillow.
“Two new messages received “Mobile screen was announcing. The message was from Navya, the very self conscious Navya.
The first message was blank one. That didn’t surprise Vaishnav either. It was nothing new from Navya, the very self centered Navya. She used to send him blank messages regularly. When she sent him the blank message for the very first time .Vaishnav believed it as a mistake from Navya’s side but later he realized that it was Navya’s way of keep reminding him that he had a place in her life or at least be in her phone book.
“Let’s sort out every thing “He read the 2nd message.
He checked the time, when message was sent.
“3 AM”
This City never sleeps and Navya never sleeps before 4 AM .Vaishnav always tried hard to understand that why the evil forces always get active in Night including Navya?
It was seven in the morning. Vaishnav called Navya.
“Hello” Navya replied in her drowsiest voice
“Hi…Just saw your text”Vaishnav said from but no reply came from other end.
“Navya..? Navya ? Are you there? “Vaishnav asked loud enough to woke few families in his society. But no reply came from other end.
It was Typical of Navya. If someone called her before 11 on weekend or before 9 on weekdays, she used to answer the call once and then put it far away from her self.
“When to sleep and when to get up and when to answer any call and when to ignore it, can be decided by Navya only “It was used to be her one line among her dictionary named ‘I- LIVE-MY LIFE- ON MY OWN TERMS’.
Vaishnav decided to wait for Navya’s call as he already knew all the worlds of her dictionary. But his wait got longer. At last around 2 PM he decided to call Navya.
“So, at last you got a chance to call Navya “Navya always used to pronounced her as third person. The very self Centered Navya, whose world revolved around her only.
“I called you late because I know, you don’t like when some one disturbing you while sleeping”
“You mean to say, Navya sleeps till 3 PM “Navya asked
“It’s 2 –o-clock”
“What ever!!!!” The very self Centered Navya replied
“Navya, Even I am sick of all these happenings. I don’t want to argue with you any more.”Vaishnav took a pause
“You sent me text, that’s why I called you “Vaishnav added.
“You mean to say, Navya always argue with you without any reason. And you, Vaishnav- The Gentleman always get harassed by Navya without any reason Right?”
“I didn’t say anything like this “
“But you mean it “Navya reciprocated. Both kept quite for few seconds.
“You know what; It’s always you who triggers the fight“Navya was in no mood to stop. Her feeling of last night, when she sent Text to Vaishnav was already dispelled
“Don’t start again .Navya” Vaishnav pleaded
Navya too realized that she needs to tone down a bit.
“Ok . Fine. Let’s meet at Marine lines around 5. Even I don’t want to have a fight with you daily. Let’s sort out everything “She said
The conversation ended. And Vaishnav lost in the memories from past when they met for the first time around six months back.
It was Sunday and both were sitting at Marine lines 2 meters apart from each other and looking at the sea Waves. What an Irony, in Mumbai everyone find solace in Sea only although they are always surrounded with peoples.
It was fourth relationship breakup for Vaishnav but it was for the first time when the Girl dumped him, on his all previous relationships Vaishnav took the final decision on his relationship. As the girl dumped him this time, he was feeling very low at that moment. He was delving into what went wrong in this relationship. He had put ear phone and was playing music on mobile. To divert his mind he searched for a paper to make aero plane. He found one page in his bag but soon changed his mind. He changed some songs in the play list and then put his mobile on that paper.
Navya sitting just next to him was also looking very agitated. She gulped the little Coke left in the bottle, which she was carrying with her and started looking around. This drew Vaishnav’s attention on her for a while and soon he lost in his thoughts.
Suddenly some one patted on his shoulders. He looked back. It was Navya. He plucked the earphone out of his left ear.
“Can I have this paper please?” She asked
Vaishnav already noticed her looking for something. He nodded affirmatively. In her urgency when Navya ripped the paper, the ear phone plucked out of the Mobile and mobile started playing the song in speaker. It was one of the unknown compositions from not so popular movie “Dus Kahaniyan”
“Bhula diya , tere ishq me khud ko bhula diya”
“Oops !! Sorry “She smiled and moved back to her place.
Human being don’t like when their inner feelings or secrets get revealed. Although there was nothing wrong in the song and but the way Navya smiled, Vaishnav took it as an offence. He quietly started monitoring Navya. Navya was writing some thing on that paper. Vaishnav started watching it from corner of his eyes.
“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you care for someone until they stop caring for you.”
Navya wrote it and put that paper into the Coke bottle and threw the bottle into sea. It’s a popular believe that many years back people used to send their message to their loved one through this way. She looked around and Vaishnav was looking at her. She smiled again.Vaishnav, who was already in bad state of mind and Navya’s smile pinched a salt in his wound.
“What a wannabe loser!!!!” He said and started looking other side.
“What !!! What did you say?” Navya heard and asked him angrily.
“Nothing…” Vaishnav replied back
“You called Navya loser? “ Vaishnav didn’t say anything.
“And what are you doing? Listening sad song and trying to act as if some one is going to award you Oscar for your acting” Navya said. She was very disturbed that day and Vaishnav’s comment exploded her outrage.
Now this confirmed Vaishnav’s doubt about her Smile.
“And you!!! Wannabe Lady Gyaan Guru . As if Face book and Twitter are not enough place for your Gyaan that you started polluting the sea also?”
“Do you think some one will take your bottle out of the sea, read your message and his life would change for ever” Vaishnav asked in disgusted manner.
“Ok Fine…Thanks for analyzing this perfectly within such a short span of time, which Navya’s Boyfriend failed to realize in last 3 months.” The words came out from her just in the spur of the moment. She realized her mistake and stood up to go.
Even Vaishnav realized his mistake that it was none of his business to comment on what every one was doing around him. He felt very bad as he was going through the similar experience through which Navya was going through.
“Hey Listen…I am sorry “He stood up and followed Navya.
Navya didn’t stop, although she heard Vaishnav’s voice. But she was in no mood to talk to anyone. Especially after her recent breakup. She stooped at the Bus stop near Marine line and started waiting for the Bus.
“Hey listen. I am very sorry “Vaishnav came running from behind,
She looked at him once and then started looking other side.
“See, Actually I am going through the similar pain in my life. I can very well understand your feelings. Actually I was so depressed that I spoke what I was not meant to say.”
She again looked at him once and again moved her face in other direction.
“Hey, already my Bucket of SIN is already full and due to my deeds My Girl just kicked me out of her life. I can’t go further with so much of Sin that even Hell won’t accept me. “Vaishnav pleaded.
This time she smiled.
“It’s OK. No Problem. Even Navya can understand your state of mind.” She replied back.
“I am not worried about Navya, I am saying sorry to you “He said and smiled.
“I am Navya “She said and put forward her hand to shake hand.
“I am Vaishnav and having experience of 4 unsuccessful relation “Vaishnav replied and Navya laughed loudly.
“So it is your resume? “
Vaishnav nodded
“So what do you do, other then …?” She asked
“Other than… what?” Vaishnav questioned
“Other than .listening Sad Tracks on Marine lines, which can potentially cause few suicides.” She smiled and asked again
Vaishnav smiled this time. “My company pays me monthly for some job, which I was supposed to do “He replied back. They kept quite for few minutes.
“And what do you do?” Vaishnav asked this time
“Navya is a Job counselor “
“It’s fine for Navya but what do you do?” He said and both laughed.
“I thought you are a counselor for mental problems, I mean psychiatrist, by looking at your message few minutes back”
She smiled this time. Bus has not come yet. She broke the silence again
“Navya wants to see your sad play list collection “. She giggled this time
“Ok, your wish. But my collection might tempt you to do suicide from here.” He said and gave her the mobile. She put ear phone and started listening the songs. Suddenly Bus came but she moved towards the stairs in Marine lines and Vaishnav followed.
“Hey..Your Bus came…where are you going?” He yelled
“Are you going to do suicide?” He yelled again and she stopped and smiled. She sat towards Sea waves on the top most stairs and Vaishnav sat along.
“Really very amazing collection” She replied.
Vaishnav didn’t say anything. He was just looking at her. After some times while listening the song Navya started sobbing. Tears started coming out of her eyes.Vaishnav saw but didn’t react. Some time it’s better to cry then to keep every thing inside yourself. Even Sea, although absorbs every thing, but to keep the balance, every minutes small tide came out of it.
Vaishnav’s thought diverted as Navya sent her the text that she would be leaving in few minutes. In the next 30 mins he got ready and took one taxi to reach early. Navya always hated it most when Vaishnav reached late to pre-decided places. In fact her only reason for most of the arguments was due to the fact that Vaishnav was ignoring her. Both were in the relationship for last six months but after some early madness, they started taking each other for granted. When they met for the first time, both were going through down phase and found solace in each other and as time proceeds, their feelings towards each other subsides.Navya started scrutinizing mistakes in Vaishnav every act and Vaishnav started comparing her with every other girls.
Vaishnav was stuck in Jam when Navya called her
“Where are you?” Navya asked
“I am stuck in Jam, will be there in next 20 mins. “
“You mean to say, Navya has to roam around here like mad for the next 20 mins.” Navya argued
“So what can I do, I can’t fly “Vaishnav argued back
“You had to start early to meet me. This shows how much you give importance to Navya”
Due to heavy Jam Vaishnav was already irritated but Navya’s argument was causing more damage.
“I thought you texted last night because you realized your mistakes but I was wrong. You just want some adventure in your life in what so ever form it can be .Even it is in the form of fight”
“Navya’s Mistake…You don’t have time for Navya and now you are saying it’s Navya’s mistake.” She disconnected the call.
Some how Vaishnav reached the place and saw Navya was already in that same Bus stop.
“So at last you got the time to meet Navya?” Navya asked fumingly.
“Yes.” Vaishnav nodded
“What exactly you want Vaishnav?” She asked
“What can I say? You decided to meet and sort out every thing so you tell” Vaishnav replied rudely.
“Why are you behaving like this? You can’t take Navya for granted. After all Navya is part of your life “She said. Vaishnav took a deep breath.
“See, I agree that you are part of my life but just a part of life, not the whole life. So don’t expect that I would be for you every time “Vaishnav replied back
“Well. Fine. If you are thinking the same, then no need to continue this relationship. Let’s …” She said
“Lets..What?” Vaishnav was waiting for that B world. Even he was sick of every thing happening for last few weeks and already delved the possible scenarios of their relationship, while coming to meet Navya.
“So live your life on your terms and Navya will take care of herself “She said
“You know what Navya, Your world is around yourself only “
“Yes, I am the way I am. “
“Well so the same is true for me also. I can’t always run behind you like some of your colleagues”
“Ok, so this is the way you think about Navya.Before you describe more about Navya. It’s better to close this chapter for ever. Navya doesn’t want to continue this relationship. Navya is dumping you “Navya announced
“Wait. Wait. Its not you, but it’s me who is dumping you “Vaishnav replied.
“What ever..” Navya said and both moved back in different directions from the same Bus Stop.
Vaishnav went to the near by stairs on Marine drive and Navya went ahead towards Nariman Point.
For the next 15-20 minutes Vaishnav cursed Navya to the fullest. But after some time when the emotions sank he started thinking about what went wrong this time. It was not his first relationship breakup.
“Is something wrong in me that my relationship never last longer?” He questioned to himself.
After digging about her relationship for some time, Navya returned back to took Taxi. There was no taxi at the moment, suddenly rain started. In was unusual for Mumbai to have rain in the month of January. She ran toward the same Bus stop to take shelter. She forgot that it was the same place where she broke up with Vaishnav few minutes back. She was totally wet in Rain. On the other hand Vaishnav ran down to the Bus stop, once the rain came ,without knowing the fact that Navya was already there on the other end of the Bus stop. No one else was on the Bus Stop. Both were looking toward the sky, it was raining heavily. While looking around Suddenly Vaishnav felt the presence of Navya in the same Bus Stop. Navya had not noticed his presence yet. Vaishnav looked at her again through corner of his eyes. There were drops of water near her eyes, which were either rain drops or tears. But Vaishnav took it as the later. Now his eyes were stuck on Navya, her mannerisms. She was looking quite upset and disturbed but more than that she was looking very vulnerable and helpless to Vaishnav at the moment.
Suddenly some thing stuck in Vaishnav‘s mind and he ran towards the other side of the road. Once he ran towards the other side of road, Navya realized that he was standing in the same shelter. Her eyes started following him. He entered into the Ice cream parlour just opposite to the Bus stop and within minutes came out with two Ice Cream scoops. First Navya thought that the ice cream was for her but Vaishnav passed the Bus Stop.
“Might be on the stairs, Just to see the Sea waves “She thought. She couldn’t control her self to look toward the stairs for Vaishnav from her end of the Bus Stop. But as she turned to look outside on the stairs, Vaishnav was standing just in front of her. Both saw each other.Navya quickly moved towards the Bus Stop
Vaishnav just came in front of her. She started looking in Ground. She was not able to look at Vaishnav.
“This one is for you” Vaishnav said and gave her one Ice scoop. She ignored.
“One Day Some Body Said that Even if she will be dieing, she would never says no to Ice cream” Vaishnav said and again put forward the Ice Cream to her and smiled. She looked at him but again started looking other side.
“Please “Vaishnav said again
“But Navya is not dying “This time she replied
“But Navya is crying “Vaishnav said
“Navya is not crying. It is raining actually “
“I know. But I can differentiate between rain drops and Tears of Navya”
This mellowed her a bit. She took the Ice cream.
“Ice cream in Rain. You want Navya to die “Navya asked
“Don’t try to act in front of me .I know that you like Ice creams during Rain.” Vaishnav asked. She nodded
“Really!!! If you knew this. You never gave me ice cream before “
“Some thing was reserved for today only. It’s Our Breakup Ice cream” Vaishnav replied.
Both kept quite. After few seconds, both said in unison “You know what” and then she giggled.
“You first …” Vaishnav said
“That’s better…Navya never gave anyone first chance in any case…” She said and giggled again.
“Yes. I know… Please go ahead”
“Vaishnav you are a nice Guy “
“That..I know…Say some thing that I don’t know about myself “
“Ok…That you are a big fool. “
“Ok..So now I am fool “Vaishnav said casually.
“Yes, you are. You know what your biggest problem is?
Vaishnav asked
“That you don’t know how to show your authority on others. Until you don’t your possessiveness or love towards other how can some one will realize that they matters to you most. “Navya asked
“I mean. How can you treat Navya the same way like your other friends “
Vaishnav looked a little confused.
“See… Like last weekend I went for picnic with our colleagues and when I informed you about that, you didn’t stop me although we had a prior planning to go to “ She said
“See… I am not perfect. I do make mistakes. I do get irrational toward you sometimes but at least you should remind me.”Navya confessed.
Vaishnav listened every word carefully and silently and now it was his turn.
“Navya, you are right. Even I am not the perfect one. I do want to tell you one thing when the frequency of arguments between us increased. I started looking for some other options but every time you tried to control me as if I am you property. I don’t understand that if I can give you freedom to do what ever you want, why you can’t do the same” Vaishnav admitted
“You were Navya’s Property!!! Some time back. “Navya replied.
Vaishnav turned himself toward other side. He couldn’t able to look at Navya any more. He took a deep breath and turned again toward Navya. She was sobbing and trying to stop the tears from her eyes.
“Navya, We both are the highly worthless creature of God and we made mistakes. Our past relationships never worked and we blamed our partners for that but the reality was that we just got bored of our partners and started searching for another partner. “
“And I don’t want the other people to suffer from us any more. So why can’t let’s give it another try …”Vaishnav added, couldn’t able to complete his words.
“To what….? Ice cream..? Yes…Navya’s scoop is finished…” She replied, expressionless.
Vaishnav looked puzzled to her. And within a second they laughed.
It was still raining.
“I am just coming with another Ice cream “Vaishnav said and ran towards the other side of Road.
“Hey wait!!!!” She yelled
But Vaishnav didn’t stop…and ran toward the Ice cream parlour. But the parlour was already closed due to heavy rain. But it did justice with the role assigned by Destiny.
****************************************************
Just now, I got one courier. It is the Marriage invitation of Vaishnav and Navya (Vaish-Nav-ya, the way they call themselves) . After having in courtship of more than a year, they are going to get married. I am sitting in my Balcony, it is raining here also and i am thinking that
“These sudden rains have their own charm, that day the sudden rain unite two peoples forever”.
Mausam…a timeless love story February 14, 2011
Posted by Bha∫kar in Bakwaas.Tags: Aisha, Bhaskar, Bhaskar Ranjan, Mausam, Pankaj Kapur, Shahid Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor
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On Valentine Day , the first look of Pankaj Kapoor’s Directorial debut “Mausam” is revealed.
Pankaj Kapoor is one of the most maverick actor in Hindi Cinema and by the first look of the movie , if anything to conclude, movie could well be refreshingly different too.
If Shahid Kapoor with Mustache is not enough for you to Buy a movie ticket of Mausam ,here is Sonam Kapoor with her anti “Aisha” look, with a strong resemblance of “Love AAJ KAL’s character Harleen Kaur .
The Story of the movie is still kept undisclosed except that Shahid is playing a character of an Army Officer but i guess the look of the movie is enough to creat a strong BUZZ for the movie .
Bha∫kar
